10 Signs That You’re A Trophy Wife
You've heard about them and you might even aspire to be one, but how do you know if you've finally made it? Here are 10 signs that confirm that you are a Trophy Wife.
10. You never have to worry about money.
You don't have a job, but you're on a first name basis with the sales assistants in Chanel, Hermes and Prada. Your credit cards are magically paid off each month and when you shop, you never, ever look at the price tag.
9. You have stalkers.
Men are charmed by you and randomly start showing up at events you're attending. Anonymous cards and gifts are left on your doorstep; you have random people calling your cell phone professing their love for you.
8. You have restraining orders out against your stalkers
You have finally realized that at least a few of the men who stare at you and somehow appear at certain social functions might not be right in the head so you have taken legal action just to get these creeps out of your life. Up until now you thought all the attention was good. Now you’ve understood that sometimes it’s just downright scary.
7. You have your own single white female.
You have girlfriends who imitate you to the point of stalking –they dress like you, become friends with your friends, stalk your Facebook account, and even follow you on Foursquare so they can just 'accidentally' turn up where you are. They say imitation is the highest form of flattery, but I just think it’s bullshit. See point 8.
6. You never see your husband.
You are accustomed to seeing your husband between the hours of 10pm and 6am – on a good week. Usually, you have no idea where in the world he is, and whenever anyone asks you, you respond “He's working on a deal, somewhere.”
5. You receive extravagant gifts from said husband
In order to ward off the guilt your husband feels about neglecting you, when he does return he lavishes you with extravagant gifts like Hermes Birkin bags, Cartier Panther rings and ridiculously big diamonds. This is why it feels wrong to let him know that you actually enjoy having the penthouse apartment to yourself.
4. You have haters
Mostly bitches who pretend to be your best friend to your face but behind you will bad mouth you to anyone who will listen, all while trying to sleep with your husband. Haters will always attempt to undermine your position of Trophy Wife, usually with comments such as “you wouldn't understand, you don't work.” Your response should be “Oh, I see. Is it like how you don't understand the concept of dieting?”
3. You're always aspiring for more
Everyone has aspirations – who said that it has to always be career driven? You never settle for second best. Flying first class is nice, but what about that private jet? There will always be someone with more money than you, so your always pushing your husband to make more money.
2. Your ring does not adhere to the 3 month rule.
It's so silly to think that the three month salary rule was initiated by the diamond and jewelry industry to guilt men into spending more money on an engagement ring to keep money rolling into the industry. I personally think it's a ploy for men to spend LESS than what their wives want.
If your fiancé tells you that she doesn't want a bigger, more expensive diamond, she's lying. Diamonds are like penises – the bigger the better. There should never be a cap on how much an engagement ring costs – you never ask a lady to compromise on a diamond.
And the number 1 sign that you're a Trophy Wife?
1. Your husband is the epitome of loaded
Your husband has so much money that simple tasks such as checking ATM receipts, looking at a bill before paying at a restaurant or the aforementioned scanning of price tags while shopping seem completely nonexistent in his life.
He buys whatever he wants, whenever he wants, and the only thing he has to think about before purchasing something is whether he has time in his schedule to use said product. He makes sure that literally everything he owns be it his car, TV, or swimming pool, are always the most up to date and efficient models or else he will simply buy a new one.
@_Trophy_Wife | Elite.