Relationships

5 Signs Your Relationship Isn't Working And You're Wasting Your Time

by Claudia Contreras
Stocksy

Let’s face it: Relationships are great, but it’s better to be single than in a relationship that isn't right for you. In the beginning, it's easy to regard everything as being perfect, and to brush off any flaws we may come across.

But, once you get serious about your relationship and start to think carefully about all it is and isn’t, you'll realize there are some issues you just can’t ignore.

Some relationships start out sweet and then turn sour; whereas, others just don’t feel right from the beginning. You ignore all the red flags because it's difficult to admit the person you are with is not suitable for you.

Even if you tell yourself repeatedly this person is the one for you, your body will not let you deny the truth. When you’re with the wrong person, the strain of it will not only be emotionally taxing, but also physically.

Sometimes, a relationship can be good, but the fact remains that something doesn’t feel quite right and you can’t figure out what it is.

If you ever find yourself doubting the relationship you’re in, it’s probably because you shouldn’t be in it. Here are a few obvious signs you are dating the wrong person:

You have a feeling something isn’t quite right.

This might be the most complex of the signs. It’s the red flag you can’t avoid feeling, but the one you ignore the most. The habit of quieting these relationship doubts may end up being a huge regret later on.

You could give it time to see if it passes because you might just be afraid of actually giving your all in a relationship, but if the months pass and you can’t shake that feeling in the pit of your stomach, it’s probably time to start reflecting on whether you're with the right person.

When you really think about it, you knew the whole time, but just decided to ignore it for whatever reason.

Your partner won’t let go of the past.

Most of us suffer from past mistakes and failed relationships and the last thing we need is someone who won’t let us forget it. A failed relationship not only hurts us, but also does severe damage. It leads us into a world where our ability to love and to live better lives is tarnished.

Afterward, we end up either falling for someone who’s incompatible with us or we sabotage good things out of fear.

When you try to move on from the past and change for the better, you need someone who will help you live new and better experiences instead of giving you constant reminders of your past mistakes.

This is one of lowest and cheapest attacks a person can make against you.

It’s as if he or she wants you to believe you haven’t changed or moved on, and no one needs this type of negative energy in life. If you have someone who can’t let go of your past, it’s a good enough reason to find someone who will.

You make excuses to stay.

You are at this moment where you already know that you’re in the wrong relationship, but you always come up with some excuse to put off the breakup.

You’ve been together for a while and your family and friends seem to like your partner, so you don’t want to go through the complication of finding someone new. Your best friend’s wedding is coming up and you prefer not to go alone or you planned a trip and decided that maybe, when that’s over, you can end it.

Sure, all of these sound great and you’ll probably keep experiencing wonderful moments together.

Then, one day, you’ll realize all the days/months/years you wasted with someone you didn’t even like that much. You can’t take time back, but you can stop making excuses.

You wonder what your partner is up to when you’re not around.

Hello! Trust issues? No, you can’t go on into a relationship if you keep having doubts about what he or she is up to when you’re not there.

Having a hard time completely trusting someone, whether it’s about him or her being faithful or about telling you the truth, it’s not really a way to have a relationship.

You want to be able to go out and not worry about whom your significant other is texting. You want to be able to not care about why he or she has his or her phone on silent whenever you’re around.

You can’t imagine a future together.

If you could see me, I’m waving a big red flag right now. If you’re looking for a long-term commitment, how is it possible that you can’t see your future with your significant other?

Some people might be great and you might even love hanging out with them, but if you try to picture what your relationship could look like in five years and you come up blank, need I say again that you’re with the wrong person?

When you start planning events for the future and you say, “If we’re still together...,” you should start looking for the exit sign.

It happens all the time: You meet a person with whom you feel you have great chemistry, but sometimes, that spark doesn’t always ignite for the right reasons.

Somewhere down the road, you realize how incompatible both of you are, but for some reason, you fight to maintain the relationship.

Maybe this happens because of all the effort you already dedicated toward it or maybe because you feel you should try because of what you once were or maybe you just don’t know how to end it because you don’t want to hurt the other person.

We relive this pattern time and time again of fighting for a relationship that is just not right for us for so many different reasons and excuses.

I’m a strong believer that every relationship you have should be the best one ever. If the one you’re in now makes you doubt that feeling, something is wrong.

Trying so hard to keep a relationship that feels wrong is just a waste of your time. You could, instead, be with someone who could be the right one for you.