Relationships

Why You Should Call Girls Not Text Them (It Really Makes A Difference)

by Dan Scotti

If you haven’t gathered by now, I can be (at times, painfully) sarcastic. If you read my work, and don’t know me personally, – or have a sh*tty detector for satire – it is likely that most of my sarcastic tone will go right over your head.

And that’s normal. There’s only so much emotion our eyes can read, and pick up, in text.

Or through texts. Yeah, text messages are really no different. A lot of your emotional voice will likely be omitted through basic SMS text messages, especially during the beginning stages of relationships – friendships or intimate ones.

For instance, the way you say “get the f*ck out of here” to your college roommate, in that heavy Brooklyn accent, is f*cking hilarious. When you say it to him, and others who are on the “inside” of your inside joke.

But if you tried texting that to your new work associate, I’m sure it wouldn’t be that funny.

While you can pick and choose your phrases, deliberately, depending on who you’re speaking to... in the dating world, you’re not going to want to constantly filter your words.

If you find a girl you really like, you’re going to ultimately find yourself wanting to be yourself around her – probably after a few months of trying to impress her, treating every text-based-reply like your own wordsmith.

At that point in the relationship, I urge you to call her. Regularly. But not too regularly. Well, regularly enough so that you can maintain a relationship consisting of each other’s real voices, without bordering on Italian/Jewish-mom-on-the-weekends status.

Find what works for you, or ideally, both you and your girl.

Try not to let the call become regimented, with rules. For instance, try to avoid having "one call in the morning" and "one call at night" rules.

Sh*t happens. Life happens. Things will come up, and when they do, it's best not to have a punishable situation after missing out on a call. Calling your significant other is intended to enhance the relationship between you and your girl, not detract from it.

This may sound like one huge chore, but I’ve been together with a few girls in my day, and from what I’ve learned, the girls I’ve actually liked – I’ve actually liked calling.

For the ones I didn’t really click as much with, calling regularly was more annoying than trying to study next to Steve Stifler.

If you find it strenuous to pick up your phone and speak to your significant other in person, you need to stop and take a timeout.

WE ARE HUMAN BEINGS. Sure, texting is convenient for certain situations, but we’re humans – we talk. At least we’re supposed to talk.

Our parents got married without ever sending a text message. Trust me, it’s possible to make things work without emoji.

It’ll even help you avoid stupid, bullsh*t, arguments within your relationship. Some girls are obsessed with social cues.

For instance, imagine your girlfriend sends you this text:

“Got the promotion”

You reply:

“That’s great”

Don’t be shocked if your girl holds a subtle grudge for the next few days. I’ve seen it happen, firsthand.

While you knew that saying “that’s great” was heartfelt, and genuine, your girlfriend might be unsettled because you don’t use x amount of exclamation points after acknowledging her new promotion.

Although it’s completely ludicrous in your mind, if you care about your girl, and she cares about text-based-matters of this nature–you should ultimately care.

Thankfully, the solution is a rather quick-fix. After getting the text that your girlfriend just got some new promotion, pick up the phone and dial her number.

It doesn’t need to be a long monologue or speech in which you praise everything she’s ever done before telling her “you the real MVP,” at least congratulate her and let her know you care – in person, so she can hear your voice.

It’s a very little gesture that will go a long way. I mean, it’ll make all the difference in the world to her. Think about it. You text everyone.

You text your boys, you text your girl friends – at the end of the day, your girl just wants to feel special. By texting her, exclusively, like the rest of your connects, you instantly place her on the same plane as everybody else in your contact list.

Miscommunications through text aside, by calling your girl, she’ll feel different. In the best way possible.

This type of exclusive treatment will assure her that you’re not just using her for the wrong reasons. I doubt any guys today pick up the phone to shoot the sh*t with their booty calls, over the phone line.

It means you really care.