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A Cup Of This, A Pinch Of That: The Recipe For A Happy Woman

When it comes to understanding women, men like to compare it to rocket science.

But, you don't have to be a Harvard physicist to figure out a woman; it doesn’t take equations and complex theories. Just, learn how to make her happy.

That’s what you want, isn’t it? A happy woman? It’s when she’s happy the love flows; it’s where the devotion builds.

It’s the happy woman who will give herself to you, who will fill your life with meaning and the kind of love you’ve only heard about.

So, what does it take to make a woman happy? What does it take to steal a woman’s heart?

Contrary to man’s antiquated beliefs, it doesn't take money, status or complex equations; it’s actually as simple as following a basic recipe.

Similar to the version your mother tried to teach you, a happy woman has the same core ingredients and the same end result. Like cooking, however, you’re free to spice it up and add your own flair.

It’s an emotional process, one that gives you back as much as you put in.

Just be creative, honest and have fun… but, never forget who you’re cooking for.

Recipe for A Happy Woman (best consumed hot… with plenty of spooning)

Serves: 1 person

Prep Time: If you’re lucky, one meal. If you’re realistic, years.

1. Pick your woman.

Lay down the groundwork with an invitation to dinner. Take initiative — set the time and check the date. Oh, and some extra flower never hurt.


2. Start with a cup of earnestness.

The filling is the most important part. It’s the base, the foundation upon which you will lay everything else. You must be real with her.

An accidental dose of bullsh*t will only turn her sour.


3. Add one cup of humor.

You don't need to be a stand-up comic, but you need to be relatable. She wants to be with someone she’s comfortable with, someone she can be herself around.

She feels most comfortable and willing to expose herself when you’re doing the same.

The best way to get her out of her shell is to crack her up.


4. Mix in 2 teaspoons of passion.

It's not real without passion. Like salt, the smallest pinch can turn something bland into something addictive.


5. In a separate bowl, add all your baggage.

The ex you’re still talking to, your explosive four-year relationship that still haunts you, those problems with your mother…

Separate the good from the bad in another bowl and throw it out. Like excess fat, it’s just turning away all those women who want something healthy and good for them.


6. Combine honesty and trust.

There's nothing that turns a good thing bad like a terrible lie. Make sure all your is material is real because women are always able to taste the difference.


7. Sift through the bullsh*t.

Get all the bumps out in the beginning. This is where a lot of men quit; decide they don’t feel like finishing it out.

There’s going to be some parts you don’t want to do — when it seems like it isn’t worth the hassle anymore — but you don’t want to leave anything now that could spoil it later.


8. Add a half-cup of sweetness.

Keep pouring on that love until it starts to get thick. You’ll know you’ve overdone if it sits there awkwardly, refusing to absorb any further. Pay attention to the consistencies between the two of you.

There’s a fine line between a sweet guy and a tart.


9. Pour into a boiling pot of passion (make sure it doesn't boil over).

You can’t continue without heat. It’s the fire under it all that keeps her going. She needs to feel that desire and passion, even if it eventually turns to a low simmer.

There is no such thing as a woman without passion, and if you want to be with her, you must be able to match her.


10. Don't forget a half-cup of independence.

Give her time to stand on her own. As much as you want to spend every second with her, throwing in copious amounts of sweetness and love will only overdo it.

Nothing turns a woman off more than too much attention.

A woman wants a man who has passions and a life outside of her, while not forgetting about her.


11. Garnish with spontaneity.

Don’t let it become bland. It’s great to sit in all night and eat your favorite meal over and over again, but life’s about changing it up and adding spontaneity.

If you want a good dish, you gotta work to keep it fresh.


12. Sprinkle in some masculinity.

She wants a man, not a soufflé.


13. A little buttering up doesn’t hurt.

We want you to be honest, but we also want someone who’s going to give us that confidence boost we sometimes need from the one person we expect to not judge us.

It may seem unnecessary and fattening, but we can’t help it; we like a little extra butter when we’re feeling low.


14. Eat it out well.

Enjoy your meal, but as always, make sure others are satisfied before serving yourself.

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Lauren Martin

Freelance Contributor

Lauren Martin is a Senior Lifestyle Writer at Elite Daily. After graduating from PSU, she moved to NYC to write fart jokes at Smosh Magazine. Making her way to ED, she now writes riveting commentary on nude pics, condoms and first dates.
Lauren Martin is a Senior Lifestyle Writer at Elite Daily. After graduating from PSU, she moved to NYC to write fart jokes at Smosh Magazine. Making her way to ED, she now writes riveting commentary on nude pics, condoms and first dates.

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