Relationships

Dating Isn't A Game: 7 Players To Look Out For In The Battlefield

by Hillary Callan

"Game Player" may refer to one of the following: a) a person who has romantic affairs and/or sexual relations with other women or men but will not marry or commit to any one relationship, often to the contrary of his or her words and actions; b) main component to the wine industry’s growth and continuity.

Dating and relationships can be many things, but they should never be games. Here are seven types of game players you need to look out for:

(*For clarity purposes, I will be using male-gender pronouns, though the Game Player is not a gender-specific title or role.)

1. The one who confesses his love after a week

Call me a skeptic, but I do not believe in love at first site. Falling in love too fast isn’t real or cute.

It's just weird. Accepting love from anyone takes away what is so good about love: the uniqueness, the spontaneity and the element of wonder. It may seem sweet, but this person’s need for constant companionship is a sign of huge mental instability.

If he falls in love with you in a week, you can be sure he’ll fall in love with "her" a week after you call it quits.

2. The one who is not quite over his ex

Not being quite over his ex equates to him not planning on making room for you. Forget him, and forget it. You are not second place material; no one is.

3. The one who is not ready to let people know about you two

Any relationship that has to be a secret is not a relationship worth having. If the person you are seeing is hiding you, he is hiding you for a reason.

Unless there are legitimate workplace rules, religious reasons, etc. for keeping you hidden, he's treating this like a game and not a relationship. Recognize this sooner rather than later, and make that sucker sorry for missing his shot.

4. The one who is always sorry

When we recognize a mistake, we admit we are sorry because we feel our actions are reflecting poorly on our beliefs, self-perception and reputation.

We say sorry to pardon our actions and spare the other person of the upset we have caused. Saying sorry multiple times is a contradiction. If he is really is sorry, he won’t do it again.

5. The one who is not ready to meet the important people in your life

If it is important to you, it should be important to him. If you plan to have a future with this person, he needs to recognize his future now consists of your friends and family.

If his excuse is that he's too shy, show you're understanding by introducing him slowly. Your family and friends are the people who have helped shape you into the person you’ve become; your date should want to meet them.

6. The one who is emotionally unavailable

He likes you, you’re fun, but he just can’t commit. Maybe he's been hurt before, or maybe the feelings just aren’t there. Regardless, he is not ready for you and all you have to offer.

Before admitting this to you, this person decided long ago you are not for him. You cannot win this battle, and there is no reason to try. Skip this story, and start the next chapter.

7. The one people tell lies about

When many people all supposedly lie about the same person, you need to look for the common denominator.

You know you are a good person. Do people lie about you? Probably not because you don’t give them a reason to do so.

As much as I hate to propel or condone gossip, stories typically stem from somewhere and don’t appear out of thin air, which he is trying to convince you of. Whether he's lying to you or himself, this person is not ready to confront the truth and own up to who he really is.