How To Tell Whether Your Relationship Is Boring You Or If You're Just Comfortable
You and your partner are in love. You've been together for a while now, and everything is going great. But suddenly, things start to feel a little old. You wonder what the difference between being bored and comfortable in a relationship is. Am I truly bored? Is my partner not the right one for me?
Well, hold on a second. It could be that your partner isn't right for you and that you're just plain bored of a not-so-perfect relationship. Or, it could be that you two are great together, and you've just hit a new level in your partnership — a level that involves less butterflies and more cozy love. But how can you tell?
There are a few simple signs that can help you distinguish whether it's boredom or comfort. One (boredom) isn't ever desired in a relationship (even though, sometimes, it happens). If you've hit a long, long rut of boredom, you might just be at the end of the line with this relationship.
The other (comfort) is actually wonderful. It means you and your partner are being yourselves, and you are happy together. It's something that naturally happens in a loving relationship.
So which is it? Below are five differences between boredom and comfort. Through these, you'll be able to tell what the right next step is for your love.
1. Boredom Comes With A Desire For Something New; Comfort Doesn't
Boredom essentially means that you're, well, bored. It means you feel stuck, and you really want something new and different. The key with boredom is that it'll feel like you've exhausted all of the options with your partner.
Comfort, on the other hand, doesn't come with a desire for anything new. The feeling of comfort is more like you're finally home and able to relax after a long day. It's kind of like your partner is your “home.” They're the person you want to be with to let your guard down from the outside world.
Between the two, comfort is definitely the better emotion for long-term love. If you feel like you're looking for something new, though, you may just be bored.
2. Boredom Requires A Solution; Comfort Is Perfect
When you're bored, you'll probably find yourself desperate for a solution. After all, boredom usually means you are lacking options and excitement, so you'll naturally want to remedy that. In a relationship, the “solution” could either be trying to spice things up with your partner, or it could mean ending it and finding someone new. You won't know unless you explore the emotion.
When you're comfortable with another person, however, you'll just feel great. You'll feel like the two of you were meant to be together, and you won't be searching for anything. If comfort is what you feel, it's likely your relationship will last for the long haul.
3. Boredom Means Unhappiness; Comfort Means Happiness
Boredom generally isn't a positive emotion. And if you're feeling bored in relationships, you are likely also feeling unhappy. It's impossible to feel like your partner isn't cutting it and still feel happy to move forward in the relationship. If it's boredom you are experiencing, it might be better to examine whether the two of you are better without each other.
With comfort, on the other hand, you'll feel happy. In fact, you'll probably feel ecstatic that you found someone who just seems to get you — someone with whom you can just be yourself. Notice the feelings that come along with your bored or comfortable feeling. If you feel happiness, it's a good chance you've actually found “the one” and are just settling into your love.
4. Boredom Means Wanting To Get Out; Comfort Means Feeling Safe
When you're bored, and then you realize you're unhappy, your next natural response will probably be to start looking for a way out of your relationship.
If you've thought it through and realize that you really are bored and unhappy, there's not much that can be done for you to stay in the relationship. Sure, you could work on it, but after a certain point, you might just realize that the two of you aren't meant to be.
With comfort, however, it's a totally different ball game. Comfort means you'll feel safe in your love's arms, and you'll never want to leave. Comfort will make you feel protected in your relationship.
Boredom might precede a breakup. Comfort, though, will precede a lifelong love.
5. Boredom Is Restless; Comfort Is Peaceful
Boredom naturally comes with a feeling of restlessness. You're unhappy, you can't think of exciting things to do, your partner has started to feel stale along with your relationship overall. You'll be itching to do something, anything, to relieve your boredom, including, if you have to, leave the relationship.
The best quality of comfort, though, is that it comes with a tremendous feeling of peacefulness. When you're comfortable in the right relationship, you'll wonder what you were doing in all of those other relationships. And you'll wonder why you never experienced this awesome feeling of peacefulness before. The short answer is that it's because you weren't with the right person before.
If it's peace you are feeling instead of restlessness, then you've certainly found your soulmate.
Although it may seem subtle, the truth is that the difference between a bored feeling and a comfortable feeling in a relationship is actually quite stark. Comfort comes with a lot of other positive emotions; boredom mostly comes with negative ones.
Use the tools on this list to help you figure out what you're feeling. You'll be glad you did so that you can determine the next best step for your relationship.
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