A Quick Rundown Of The 16 Dos and Don'ts For Picking Up A Millennial Woman

Though it may be inconsequential knowledge to you now, given that I’ve already ignored you, know that while you were trying to pick me up, I was criticizing your every move.

The way you looked at me, the way you introduced yourself, the way you held yourself and the way you laughed at my jokes — I made note of it all.

Based on how you acted, I was able to discern your motives for approaching me. You were probably trying to get my number, get laid or simply play tonsil hockey in public.

Here’s some news I’d like to share on behalf of women everyone: If I ignored you, you probably have some work to do. Men, here are some pointers to consider before zeroing in on your next conquest:

DON’T look sloppy even if you're dressed down.

Sloppiness isn't attractive. Every girl wants a clean-cut guy who cares about his appearance at least somewhat. It’s important to look like you've showered within the past 24 hours, even if you haven't.

DO be a gentleman.

Chivalry is not dead, people.

DON’T tell me I look like someone you know.

Most likely, it's a family member or an ex. Unless she looks like Halle Berry, I could probably care less this early in the game.

DO approach me alone; it's more attractive.

Having the courage to hit on a girl without the support of a buddy is amazing (even if it’s just liquid courage).

DON’T think you can land me if you couldn't land my friend.

Some guys think it's okay to hit on two friends in one night. If you plan on doing it, be prepared for all-encompassing failure.

DO introduce me to your friends if they're around.

It's always nice to meet the friends because they reveal another side of you — don't be secretive about them.

DO be honest, always.

Girls are detectives when it comes to guys. I can see right through your lies and tales.

DON’T even think about talking to me if you already have a girlfriend.

Guys in relationships have hit on me, and I instantly knew what they were up to. Your secret is not safe with me.

DO make a good first impression.

Don't be obnoxious and foolish. Stay calm, cool and collected.

DON’T brag about your job, your life, your friends, your car, etc.

Leave something to the imagination.

DO be polite when approaching me.

Definitely don’t touch me during your approach because nine times out of 10, I'll immediately write you off as a creep. Say hello respectfully and authentically. Do not try a corny pickup line.

DON’T follow me on every social media within a three-day span.

Stage-five clinger status, period.

DO embrace yourself; confidence is sexy.

Work what you’ve got.

DON’T text me at every waking moment if I give you my number.

Yes, I like cute, corny texts. But no, I don't need a "Good Morning," "Good Afternoon" and "Goodnight" text. Be chill.

DO give me space.

Being stalked is probably the absolute worst thing for a girl and for you. If you do it, we’ll talk to our friends about it and you’ll officially be known as "The Stalker."

DON’T judge me.

Yes, I'm judging you in this article, but no, I'm not judging your hobbies, your interests or with whom you associate. Show me that respect, and I'll do the same.

Photo via Tumblr