It’s been said that the inner workings of the female mind are a complicated mystery, but really, we’re simpler than you think. While each and every one of us may be different, there are some truths that just seem to speak to the majority.
So for all of you dudes out there pondering the world of women (because we know that’s what you do), let me give you a bit of insight into the foreign land of ladies.
Tried and true (for the most part), here are 30 facts about the female psyche. Although I can’t promise they’ll get you lucky, it can’t hurt to have a few more tricks up your sleeve. Go get em’, Casanova!
1. We’re judging your outfit… and if you think it’s okay to wear running sneakers in a bar, we’re judging that, too.
2. Female upkeep costs some serious cash money.
3. Wine is the quickest way to get a girl talking.
4. Any chick that is worth your effort will not wait around for you to eventually show it.
5. If we sleep with you, we believe without a doubt you owe us a text. (Even if we don’t actually want it.)
6. Calling another girl a slut only makes us think you’d do the same to us.
7. No matter what she may tell you, once you lose a girl’s trust, chances are you will never get it back.
8. Our hair is our world. Tell us it’s pretty; we love that sh*t.
9. It is not a myth. When we have our periods, we are ten times more likely to cut a bitch. Tread lightly.
10. Most of us are well aware of the fact that unless it’s a g-string or pasties, you don’t really care what we’re wearing. However, pretending is typically welcomed.
11. No girl digs a dude that smells.
12. We talk a lot about sex… probably more than you do.
13. Being a man-child/crybaby is never attractive.
14. How you treat the women in your family is a direct indication of how you will treat us.
15. Chivalry may be dead, but no girl wants to do everything. If you want it, we expect you to work for it.
16. A good manicure can literally change the flow of our day.
17. If you have to question whether or not she’s pissed, she’s pissed.
18. We will always trust our guy friends to keep it real.
19. To sum up the single girl’s take on shaving in the winter, “ain’t nobody got time for that.”
20. We always find the money for shoes.
21. Unless you’re at a beach, gym or deli on Sunday morning, when she says she’s not wearing makeup, she’s full of it.
22. No girl will like a guy who steals her best friend.
23. If you talk about your kill count, so will we.
24. A guy with a pretty face may be fun, but a dude with some wit is lethal.
25. Even at our weakest, we’re stronger than you give us credit for.
26. Rest assured, she may not have “liked” that picture, but she probably saw it.
27. Bikini waxes literally give us nightmares.
28. It’s true some ladies will never grow out of being a mean girl, but for most of us, we’d much rather make peace than engage in girl war.
29. Stand alone mustaches are ballsy at best.
30. Hoes before bros, always.
Top Photo Courtesy: Signs Of Happiness