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6 Ways I Discovered A Whole New World After Abstaining From Porn And Masturbation

Relax, fellas, you can masturbate all you want. Hell, I know I did (and still do). Yet, before you run away, allow me to explain the benefits of a little self-control.

Not long ago, I read a book called “Models: Attract Women through Honesty” by Mark Manson.

The back cover reads something like, “Just a public service announcement; this is the first and last book on men's dating advice you'll ever need to read. Seriously.” This PSA did not lie.

In 2010, a friend of mine, who was splitting costs with his fraternity, gave me passwords to both Bangbros and Realitykings.com.

These two websites dominate the world of porn. Porn star Jayden Jaymes often models for both of these sites.

It's safe to say that a good six months of my life was ruined by these sites, as I watched and downloaded enough pornography to fill a hard drive.

Honestly, I couldn't leave my room. I mean, they film in HD; I never stood a chance.

In Manson's book, he recommends two things: 1) Stop watching porn, and 2) Masturbate only once a week (or twice, if you really want to push yourself).

This was the first time I had even become aware that there were potential negative consequences to masturbating and addictively watching pornography.

In fact, I had no idea how much I was stunting my growth by not only watching porn, but also by masturbating way too often.

After reading his book, I abstained from masturbation and pornography for 11 days. Nevertheless, the journey was a revealing one in which I felt a range of emotions and in turn, learned several important lessons:

1. My confidence skyrocketed.

One interesting part of Manson's book is his mentioning of Napoleon Hill. In his famous book, “Think and Grow Rich,” Hill states that he often abstained from masturbation, as he felt it gave him a competitive edge over his fellow man.

Now, it's possible I was experiencing the placebo effect because you really can't measure or define competitive edge.

Before my experiment, the idea made no sense to me, but afterwards, I totally understood Hill in my own way.

If you're a dude, at some point you have experienced the self-loathing that often comes with masturbation. We usually experience this because most of us tend to masturbate way too often.

For once, I was experiencing the exact opposite of those feelings, and each day I held out, those positive feelings only grew stronger.

Ultimately, I knew I was doing something that 99 percent of dudes did not possess the self-control to do. That feeling was incredibly empowering.


2. My sex drive was off the charts.

Simply put, I was out-of-control horny. Men have two brains: their actual brain and their dick.

Whereas my dick thinks it's a good idea to approach a girl in a bar and try to immediately initiate sex, my brain is like, “Easy there, Casanova. Why don't you introduce yourself first and then try this crazy thing called, having a conversation?”

Now, there was a beautiful symphony between my two brains and that translated to a real and practical strategy.

That strategy was rooted in the fact that the only way I was going to have an orgasm was by way of a woman, and unless I displayed a mix of aggression with charm, that was never going to happen.

Of course, reading that, it's almost like, “Really, dude? You were unaware that you had to court women while aggressively projecting interest?”

Yes, I'm aware, but the difference was that I would ordinarily masturbate and negate those urges. Not anymore. Now, I had a laserlike focus and my initiative, looking back, was admirable.

That leads to number three:


3. I was motivated to meet, pursue, date and sleep with women constantly.

I joined three online dating websites. Most importantly, I went out constantly and would chat up any girl who crossed my path: the waitress, the cashier, the girl on the subway or hell, the girl at subway.

I was a machine; before I knew it, I couldn't get off my phone because I had established a wide network of women interested in me.


4. Pornography taints your view of what is real.

Many of the women featured in porn are not real. In fact, it is a rarity to come across a porn star that is “all natural.”

Rather, most possess a mix of breast implants, butt implants, lip injections and absurdly excessive makeup. For an almost startling example, check out these photos of porn stars with and without makeup.

Before, girls who did not possess perfectly toned stomachs, large breasts and round asses were quickly labeled ugly, and those with obviously fake blonde hair, intense tans and “hot” colors on (like pink and yellow) were beautiful.

Removing porn from my life helped me rediscover that a woman with a pretty smile can make me weak in the knees and a beautiful pair of eyes can be utterly intoxicating.

In all reality, porn had completely tainted my perception of what was beautiful.

Once I stopped watching, I found myself desiring real women and longing for the honesty of flaws.


5. I felt a profound loneliness.

This was easily the most unexpected part of the journey. Throughout the first seven days, I had to mentally push myself to not give in.

I distinctly recall that after seven days, I was struck with a profound sense of loneliness.

After a highly anticipated, but unsuccessful night out, I went home alone. Throughout the night I was aggressive and extremely honest about my intentions with several women, but nothing clicked.

As I rode home with friends, this was the first time my dick retracted and my brain took over.

I didn't want to just sleep with someone; I wanted someone to call my own. I wanted a partner, a lover and a relationship.

I looked at my best friend, who had once been the king of the bar scene and suddenly understood why he had hung it up for his girlfriend.

Now, don't get me wrong; striking out can always lead to moments of self-pity, but this was a different kind of sorrow.

In the past, I had been disappointed because I had not gotten laid. Now, I felt glaringly alone, and it was the first time in a long time, that I found myself desiring a cuddle buddy instead of a f*ck buddy.


6. Masturbation is healthy; pornography is not.

It doesn't take a scientist to know that masturbation is good for you. For me, I realize it serves as a great stress reliever (not to mention it can apparently prevent cancer, and well, that's just fantastic).

If there's anything I took away from my experiment, it's that deleting my porn stash was the best decision I ever made. Plus, masturbating when I “deserve” it works best for me.

With that, I think it's safe to say, if you're living a kickass lifestyle, masturbate away.

However, if you're skipping the gym, unemployed and rarely getting laid, put down the lube, get rid of the porn and consider indulging in a little self-control. You might be surprised by what you learn.

Photo Courtesy: Fanpop

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Henry Fry

Contributor

Henry Fry is a self-hating Jew from New York. That is all.
Henry Fry is a self-hating Jew from New York. That is all.

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