A Call To The Millennial Male: 4 Things Guys Can Keep In Mind When Another ‘One' Gets Away
Love. It is human nature. It is a whirlwind of volatile passion and full of ecstasy. When we were younger, it was engrained in our heads through multiple outlets that you need to find that one special person and create a family together, riding off into the sunset.
All of that may come in time, but it never happens so swiftly. Being a male Millennial, I have had my encounters with women of all types: a few I could see myself with in the long run as well as a couple I could never get far enough away from. There has only been one constant up to this point: none of them have lasted.
I'm aware now that my day will come and the chips will fall as they are meant to. It took a long, bumpy road to develop that mindset, but I would not trade it for anything in the world.
Unfortunately, a lot of my Millennial brethren have hit rock bottom after unsuccessful relationships. They've lost the concept of their own lives and are swept into a downfall that can last months. Here are some mistakes you are making and how/why you need to stop:
Blowing Up Her Phone
She's not texting you back. She's neither returning your messages nor calling you when she said she would. You go off your rocker, thinking you've been betrayed and you can't help the thoughts of what she could possibly be doing from getting stuck in your head.
She could be with another guy. She could be in an awkward emotional place. She may not like me. Yes. Yes, all of those could be true. Shut up, sit back and do your own thing. If a woman wanted to see, talk or hear from you, she would make that possible.
It's not about playing games; it's giving her space and, more importantly, giving yourself space to evaluate what you may have had.
Maybe you step back and think, “Wow, she could go off and act like this at any moment?” And that's when you realize you don't have time for that kind of thing. Case closed.
Thinking She Was The One
So, out of the billions of people in the world, this girl was the one. How do you really know? You had so much in common, but it's hard to see whomever else you might have things in common with when you try to spend every waking moment with that same individual.
There are a lot of women out there who have more in common with you than the “one who got away.”
It may take some searching and digging around, but when you fill your time up with the activities you enjoy doing, a great girl may come around before you know it. She may have been “one” of the ones, but was she really the “one”?
Being Depressed For Days On End
Stop this sh*t right now. You break up with a girl and all of a sudden your life is over. You become gloomy, snippy and an overall piss poor excuse of a man. You contributed all the value of your life at the current moment to one single girl.
So despite the fact that you may have a great support system in your family, a plethora of friends or hobbies to keep you busy for days on end, this woman was really the dot to every “I” and cross to every “T”? People come and go in your life and the sooner you can recognize that and accept it, the more you allow yourself to enjoy each day as it is.
Never Dating Again
This ties slightly into #2. I myself have said something along the lines of never dating again for a long time after ending a relationship. You know what happened? I would meet a badass girl, find that we had a great time together and casually date her. It was great.
I had someone for the time being whom I could hang out with and go through daily experiences with. Whether it lasted long or not, it did not matter.
I once had a girl completely disappear on me, she avoided any contact after we went out twice. She was fun, younger than I was and, frankly, I had no idea where it would go, but was enjoying the ride.
Personally, I would inform someone when I was not really feeling it anymore, but again it's not a big deal.
We as men like to act as if we are cold to all situations and have no feelings. Women know as well as we do that this is bullsh*t. The façade just contributes to the games and feeds the turbulent relationship wheel. If you see yourself going nowhere with a woman, drop it.
You should hope she does the same because that is your time and who is she to waste it? It may hurt at first, but the longer you stay involved with a woman who does not appreciate you, the longer it will be before you find the one who does.
The more people and relationships you experience, the closer you are to finding what you are truly looking for. When it comes down to it, sh*t happens. You can throw your two middle fingers up and go with the flow or you can drown in it. In summary, stop being a bitch.
Photo via We Heart It
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