Nobody likes to be a “third wheel,” let’s face it. Not only is it extremely awkward, but also heartbreaking, leaving you feeling lonely and unwanted. If you’re already in a relationship and third wheeling, then there’s no reason you should be complaining. So, click that top right red X now; this article is for the third wheelers who are single.
However, there are positives that you can take out from this ultimate negative; we here at Elite have been there on more than one occasion. So let’s fix your late, steamy nights with your left hand, a bottle of flaxseed-oil, and those creepily entertaining HBO series (you know you’ve seen Hookers On The Point, don’t lie to yourself).
Man up guys: stop being the third wheel.
Let’s set the scene: for the second continuous week you’ve been dragged out by your best friend and his girlfriend, sitting there on your mobile phone pretending to be text messaging and reloading a blank Facebook newsfeed on a Friday night when other people are actually getting laid can become monotonous. But wake up; understand there are advantages to being the third wheel.
Now, we’re not telling you to start randomly crying and get out the tissues. But it is a biological fact that girls like a guy with some emotion. Pending there are girls around you, of course, it’s time you take advantage of your ever so lonely situation.
Now, assuming by now you’ve caught the eye of the chosen female, begin with a couple sighs and sad meaningful smiles that you can throw towards her direction. If she’s anything like most girls, her motherly side will come through and she won’t be able to bear seeing you all on your own for much longer, that’s only if you play it right.
This technique can easily be mistaken as a sign that you’re life is just one big desperate cycle. So please guys, make sure you’ve got that initial eye fucking going on before hand (Read: “Mastering the Art of the Eye Fuck”).
Using The Girlfriend
Ask yourself: in what other situation will you have the privilege of having a female perspective with you on a night out. Take FULL advantage of this, only women know what other women want. If she and your friend are going to force you to third wheel it, then we suggest you take advantage of some free resources.
But under no circumstances do you let her pick. Ever. Needless to say, woman’s taste in women will not match up to your standards for a 10 in bed. Although, she might pick you a good cook. When it comes to the actual approach, make sure the girlfriend doesn’t come with. It is to have her provide some last minute tips, but taking her up there with you is a no go. Men go hunting on their own. Fact.
Assuming by this point you have successfully seduced this girl back to your table, use utilize the girlfriend as much as possible. Not only will she be much more combatable with another woman, but there’s also no chance of cockblocking from your male friend.
Becoming A Hit
Now third wheeling isn’t bad as you first think, it’s a chance to get your name out there. Sitting there with your headphones in and cracking the occasional private joke with your buddy isn’t cool. Go to the extent of making such a good impression that she comes to the conclusion that she wants to leave and go home with you. This is the ultimate club scenario, you just used your boy’s girlfriend to achieve it.
Now if you do this correctly, then the girlfriend liking you all the more it means your name can only be passed onto her entourage of girls she hangs with. So when it comes to going out next time shell have brought a friend with her now knowing she can trust you; the effort is worth it. But before this double date, give yourself the option to choose who to set you up with. Play a joke about going on a double date and use her photos of friends to decide for yourself. However, we do advise to not be too picky, she might be turned off.
Enlighten your understanding about what women want by simply sitting back and observing. It is not common that you get the chance to observe a couple up close and learn what to avoid and what to do consistently.
Break down your friend’s actions and see what works for him and what does not. Now if this is a new relationship that your friend has dived into, then what works should be easy and clear. However, if the two have been together for quite some time think about ways he could keep the excitement and spontaneity level up and if the atmosphere permeates with typical long-term boyfriend/girlfriend dullness.
This may not be the most thrilling of advantage for the third wheel, but you could think of the possibilities on how it may play out well in the long run when it comes to your own relationship.
If in doubt…
Some people are simply not designed for third wheeling: they may see it as the excuse to get drunk (not a bad choice). But it does not take a gentleman to be drinking heavily in this circumstance with friends, and we at Elite do not suggest giving off this impression by any means.
However, if you’re going to do it anyway, at least take a few shots of Jack and tell the barman to play “One For My Baby,” by Frank. Make it as sophisticated as possible, but do NOT end up with a photo of you being sick in the toilet on Facebook.
Reece Parkinson | Elite.