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Why Karma Is Every Man’s Worst Nightmare

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Paul Hudson

You may think that you’re a good guy, but I promise you, you’re not. It is guaranteed that at one point or another you treated someone like shit. It is also certain that this person was of the female variety. I can say this with such certainty only because you are a man and that is what men do.

I would say that it’s not your fault- but it is. Don’t you worry though, Karma is a bitch. And she’s not happy that you’re fucking with her crew. Never mind. Worry.

Karma has been repaying men for their misdoings for centuries. Every man that has ever cheated on a woman, insulted a woman, abused a woman, or broken a woman’s heart, gets repaid in the future- usually tenfold. Broken girl’s hearts all through your youth?

Cheated on them left and right? Now you’re worried you won’t find love? No, no. You will; that is for sure. Hell, you may fall head over heels for a great woman and even manage to get married. But Karma is a sneaky creature. She’ll keep the true monster your new wife is hidden until after the honeymoon.

6 months into the marriage you’ll find yourself miserable. Doing all the working and cleaning while your wife heads to the gym 5 days a week. Great, right? I mean every man wants his wife to stay in shape. Sure. That’s true. But it’s not the StairMaster she’s climbing. It’s Vlad- the 6’2 hunk of meat that gets her pulse up and her body sweating. Yes, she will look great- but she’ll be getting nailed by the Soviet Union.

You treated women like shit? Used them and then kicked them to the curb? Found them to only be a commodity? Well guess what Karma is going to give you: a baby girl. A little angel. But guess who she will be dating when she get’s a little older.

She’s going to be dating you. Well, hopefully not literally- that would be messed up. But she will be dating the guy that you were when you were younger; the asshole, the guy that treats women like garbage, the guy that fucks them, promises them the world, then leaves them to pick up the pieces of their broken heart.

You will be just as miserable as you made every woman feel- if not worse. You will hate your life and, more importantly, you will hate yourself. You will hate yourself for causing pain. For taking pleasure in the woes of others.

Now, this doesn’t mean that you have to behave like a British schoolboy- all proper and shit. You can still get down and dirty- and even borderline inappropriate- without actually crossing the line. You can still slap her around, choke her, tie her up, and shower her with your climactic finale- it’s all about how you do it, the energy that you give off. If you do it out of disrespect, she’ll know it. If you do it out of pleasure- even if only yours- she’ll be okay with it.

The most important thing is how you leave her. Do it respectfully. I personally have done some things that are most definitely illegal in certain parts of the world. But I left each and every woman with a hug and a few kind words.

Then I grabbed my shit and booked it as fast as I could. There’s no reason to make her feel used or defiled. Even if she’s only a nice piece of ass to you, she still deserves a smile before you disappear- or at the very least a high five. Heed my words: Karma will find you.

Paul Hudon | Elite. 

Paul Hudson

Paul Hudson

Staff Writer

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