Men Aren’t Assh*les, They’re Just Misunderstood

Men Aren’t Assh*les, They’re Just Misunderstood
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

If you are a male, at one point in your life you have been on the receiving end of a verbal volley of emotionally strained words. No, not the heartwarming “I love you” or even the spite-filled “go die.” I am talking about that malice-brewed concoction of “you are an assh*le.”

Those words coming off a recent argument, discovered lie or even a bad decision, raise a pretty important question: are men assholes? Now, being objective (no, wait, I know I am a male) leads me to believe we might have a big misunderstanding on our hands. Yes, there we go. We are just misunderstood. Actually, this has to stem from centuries upon centuries of not acknowledging a few simple facts.

We suck at expressing our personal feelings.

Mind you, we can talk about how much we hate the Mets, or hope that Obama gets trampled by an escaped Mongol herd just fine. These trivial aspects of our day-to-day fuel our anger, happiness and sadness.

We cry when our favorite sports teams win championships, laugh when Jon Stewart comes on TV, and roll our eyes at any political fiasco that occurs. Get put in a situation where you have to defend yourself to your significant other? Ouch.

I hate comparing it to a cornered dog, but damn it, we have no idea what to do. In these situations, you will probably see a man hesitate about five or six times a second. This hesitation is bolstered by years of fearing what not to say to a female. You can sit and call your best friend obscenities for hours on end (actually, that is usually a term of endearment amongst us barbarians, who you call males), but never, ever go for the ‘eye for an eye’ method of arguing.

Elite Daily

The moment you do that, it’s over. Not only will she bring up your past failures, but your current ones coupled with insecurities, broken promises and so much more. It is ultimately a lose-lose in the sense that hesitating or countering are both going to get you nowhere.

Now, if we were able to test out this whole ‘expressing feelings’ thing outside the realm of your significant other, then we have a whole new ball game. I remember an ex of mine who made it a point to exaggerate me asking her “how she was feeling” or how “I felt.” That’s what makes a guy go “f*ck it.”

We don’t know how to handle a lie.

Mind you, lying is wrong. Well, wrong is a strong word. Lying isn’t optimal at times. That’s better. The problem with this whole lie thing is someone always finds out. It usually is worse if you lie to the supposed love of your life. And yet, our intentions are good and we feel bad.

Yes, you know there is more to the story when you start getting random bouquets of lilies every other Tuesday, or even when he decides to sit through a “Grey’s Anatomy” weekend marathon (that McDreamy though), but he is doing that for you!

He messed up and now he is making sure you know he didn’t mean it. Confront him, and he will have no idea what to say, but a broken record of blathers and “I didn’t do it.” Give the man some space and he will eventually come around and tell you that he really wasn’t at his mom’s, but at the strip club with his friends. Oh, I am not talking about cheating, because that is a whole other article on its own.

The moment he begins defending himself, you can’t start picking up his half-assed, on the fly, sweating-induced story. I don’t believe any guy every wants to hurt a woman. It all comes down to when to tell the truth, not never telling the truth.

We can’t admit a bad decision.

One of the biggest parts of the male-dominated culture we live in is that the man knows best. This is coupled with other ideas of the past, such as women should just be housewives, and there shouldn’t be equality in the workplace. Yeah, anyone reading this will probably tell you that men don’t know sh*t.

Elite Daily

Actually, most people don’t, regardless of gender. The moment you screw up the trip to Maui or getting the malware off her computer (which was probably caused by you anyways), no one is to blame. Hey friend, just admit you screwed up. I know, you don’t want to look weak, but trust me, she will never let you live this down, outside of you finding a cure for breast cancer.

Decisions happen. Bad decisions happen a lot more. Hey, some girls like vulnerability and admitting that you were wrong will lead to happier nights. Ones where calling you an assh*le is not the status quo.

So, are those the three golden rules to what’s inside a man’s head? Heck no. Trust me, there is a lot more where that comes from. But, maybe seeing it from a guy’s perspective once in a while can lead to less “you are an assh*le,” and more “hey just be honest, you screwed up, we can talk about it.” Or something like that.

Ali Abouomar | Elite.

Photo Courtesy: Tumblr

Share Tweet
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Contributing Writer

Elite Daily is a medium for people tired of disingenuous content; we have sought to create a space where stimulating, applicable content can reach a like-minded audience.

More In Gentlemen

Gentlemen Dan Scotti

5 Scientific Reasons Why Guys Who Cuddle Are Healthier And Happier

Cuddling is a pretty stellar activity. It usually involves a nice, comfy bed. You’re usually with someone you care about. And there’s probably a television somewhere in your proximity. Not to mention, it almost always segues into either sex or sleep, sometime soon after. This is why I don’t understand why cuddling carries with it […]

Also On Elite


Porn Star Breaks Both Legs After Jumping Out Window To Escape Rapists

When porn star Lola Taylor visited an apartment in the Yasenevo District of Moscow to discuss a potential film idea, she never expected to fight for her life. Taylor, née Lyubov Bushuyeva, was allegedly lured to the flat on October 25 by two Belarussians, Dmitry Kosenkov, 30, and Maxim Pilipenko, 33, who claimed they wanted […]


Why The Patriots Are Letting Tom Brady Down

If you’re Tom Brady, you have to be pissed right now, right? Over the past 18 months, the New England Patriots have done very little to put him in a position to win (a popular term down in Foxborough). In March 2013, the Patriots let Wes Welker walk in free agency. Not only did he […]


Dick Cheney May Be The One To Thank If We Get An Ebola Vaccine

There isn’t a vaccine for Ebola, but should one emerge, we may have the Bush Administration to thank. Former Vice President Dick Cheney became very fearful of bioterrorism after 9/11, when rumors surfaced that anthrax was going to be hidden in our mail. Later that year, Cheney asked Congress to devote billions of dollars to […]


This Woman Is The Real-Life Version Of ‘The Little Mermaid’ (Photos)

Everyone’s wanted to either be or know a mermaid at some point in their lives. What if we told you that we now know of the closest thing to a real-life Ariel? Meet Sacha Kalis, the daughter of underwater photographer Elena Kalis. Both mother and daughter have been living in the Bahamas for their entire […]


Like Father, Like Son: College Coaches Already Want LeBron James, Jr.

Well, LeBron James did say The Ohio State University would have been the perfect college for him. Though James forfeited his chance to play college ball to take the no. 1 pick status at the 2003 NBA Draft, the four-time league MVP might be able to fulfill one of the more interesting “what ifs?” through his son, LeBron […]


Mike Tyson Tries To Beat Himself In Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out (Video)

Mike Tyson went on “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon” last night and Fallon goaded Tyson into playing a round of Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out. For those who don’t know, Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out is a legendary Nintendo game that is incredibly difficult to beat. The final showdown in the game is with none other than Tyson […]