Call it every man’s kryptonite, or the naive hope that the grass is greener on the other side, but the bartender has perennially been portrayed as the sexy vixen behind the sticks who knows how to have fun for a reason, right? But she is not there to party; instead, she is working, which makes her an even harder target than most women a guy will encounter throughout his day.
Because this is quite the challenge, many have tried and failed terribly because this is not a situation for amateur hour. Would you walk into a foreign boardroom and start courting the first executive blonde you see? No, it would be nearly impossible because she is working and you are a complete stranger. But every man loves a challenge so they will try.
As crazy as it sounds, just like with everything in life, there is a science to picking up the bartender. Once you do jump over the initial hurdles to get to know them, you will find that these women are amazing. They have an amazing wild and fun side to them, and they are experts in bed with skillful craft of foreplay.
So stop chasing around the normal boring girls you would normally court! Those girls most likely have STD’s at this point. Now, onto the quick steps on how to score yourself a bartender this summer. But it is key to remember that none of these girls have boyfriends because they either work too much or that no guy knows how to pick them up correctly.
Timing is everything
The biggest mistake that men make is being off with their timing. The faux-Elite man will try to pick up the bartender when the bar is packed and busy, usually because they are drunk and flattered with her beauty. If she is at work and she is busy, then why would she waste her time flirting when she is supposed to making money through tips? She will look at you as annoying if you try to do this.
The only time you should ever try to pick up a bartender is during an off night, like on a Monday or Tuesday. Another opportunity opens at the beginning or the end of the night – this is when there is less of a crowd and she will be able to pay attention to your pick up lines and easy flowing conversation. The key is to command her full attention, so it is imperative that you focus on these times of the night. If your timing is off you will never be able to pull this off.
What is your second key to landing the bartender? Positioning, positioning, positioning. Oh, and positioning! This is everything when it comes to picking up a bartender. While focusing on the proper timing is important, if you are in the wrong position then she will not address your advances.
So remember: she will not be the only bartender working and each bartender has their own territory, so you need to make sure you are positioned in her territory, rather than that of the other bartender’s. This will ensure you that she will always be hovering in your area of the bar. Try to shoot for the middle of her territory – this is usually where the soda guns are, so she will be in this spot frequently to catch your attention.
Once you have the timing and your positioning down, it is time to execute the art of picking up the bartender. First off, always remember that you must be charming and outgoing. You do not want to make it obvious that you are being flirty with her; rather, you want to just let her fall into your conversation. Keep the talking as casual as possible by asking one question at a time. Remember questions are the root behind all conversations. Here are some good ones that kick the conversation off:
How long have you worked here? You like it?
So how’d you end up in this line of work?
What do you do when you’re not pouring drinks?
Once the conversation has kicked off, do not offer anything about yourself until she asks. She will eventually ask after you have thrown around some funny jokes here and there while throwing the questions above. She is used to men hitting on her, usually very drunk men who try to impress her with all kinds of different tactics. So you will not impress her with the mundane details of your life.
Lesson? Do not offer your personal narrative until she asks to hear it. Use your time to find out more about her by giving her the opportunity to tell you about herself and just listen. If she is engaged with the conversation then you are half way there. You are just there to give her an outlet to talk about herself and become attracted to you through your willingness to listen.
After you have gone through this phase, it is important to remember that she is going to have to attend to different customers. When she does so be cool about it and pretend like it does not even phase you one bit, or throw you off. Do not stop her as all girls hate guys that are protective – especially strangers they just met.Another important lesson is to drink slowly and remain sober.
You do not want to seem like a sloppy drunk as most of the guys she gets hit on are highly intoxicated. So when dealing with bartenders you must make sure she never labels you just like all the other guys.
Get the hell out of there
As with all attempts to woo a woman, you must have your escape plan ready. This is not to run away, but the fact is that woman like a guy who does not hold their hand all day. So after you successfully gain her interest, acknowledge the fact that she is at work and you have other things to do. Get her contact info and tell her that you want to hangout soon – you may even tell her to call you after work. And guess what? She most likely will.
The point is to go do something else – whether that be going back to hangout with your friends or going to another bar altogether. By giving her the room to reciprocate your efforts, she will feel comfortable enough to do so.
No one likes the stage five clinger hanging out across the room staring at you while drooling. That is just weird. So go hangout with your buddies, you will get her soon enough. Get her number on a napkin or the back of your receipt and the home stretch will be ahead of you.
Congratulations, you just landed the bartender. Stay classy, stay Elite.