The Science Of Persuasion: How Picking Up A Woman Is A Lot Like Making A Good Business Decision
There is a science to picking up women, and I don't necessarily mean picking them up for a one-night stand – although it works for that just as well. It's all about the art of persuasion – well, it's more of a science really.
Countless books, essays and articles have been written about the part persuasion plays in making business deals. The truth is that social deals of this nature are basically business deals. The two of you are trading services.
The trick is to convince the person you are negotiating with that the deal works in her favor and that she isn't losing out in the trade.
Stating the terms in both business and sexual encounters isn't enough – people aren't only interested in the facts on paper.
They are interested in whether or not they want to deal with you as a person. This goes double for all negotiations that take place outside the boardroom. There are only six points to maximize on:
1. Reciprocity & Investment.
She's more likely to give what she has already received. If you want her to do you any favors then you're going to have to do her a favor yourself. People are more likely to say yes when they know that you have already invested in them.
The simple fact that they feel, even slightly, that they owe you will make them more likely to agree with your requests.
This, however, doesn't solve the problem of getting that first foot in the door; you can't simply go out of your way to do a woman you don't know a favor because she'll just think of you as being creepy and odd.
However, you can get her to do you a favor first. Have her invest in you firstly and it will be much less awkward when you up the ante. Ask her to pass you a napkin or coaster from the bar.
The fact that she spent her time and energy, as little as it may be, to get you that napkin makes her feel invested in you. She'll be more open to a conversation and you can take it from there. Maybe buy her a drink.
She's more inclined to want what she feels is difficult to come by. So make yourself seem hard to come by. Yes, as barbaric as it may seem, you are going to have to impress her.
I wouldn't go around lifting heavy objects and flexing, but you do have to show her that you aren't the average man. You have to be pleasant, but different – unique. The last thing that you want to do is blend into the crowd.
In other words, be interesting enough for her to want to talk to you. Different women are into different types of men, but any man who seems different from the rest will catch her eye.
People follow the lead of credible and knowledgeable experts. So will she. If you want her to think you're interesting and one-of-a-kind, it's good to mention any rank of authority that you may have.
If you're in the navy then wearing a uniform couldn't hurt. But it goes beyond this. Women prefer men who are high up on any ladder – whether it be economical or social.
If you have money then look like you have money – don't be flashy, but let your clothes speak for themselves. If you're with a bunch of buddies, then appear to be the leader.
Initiating physical contact in the form of light roughhousing (grabbing someone's arm to get his attention, putting your arm around a buddy, etc…) or simply being the center of attention will show her that people respect you.
The fact that she believes you to have authority alone will make her much more likely to say yes.
Make her commit to something small and she'll be much more likely to commit for the whole nine yards. Every time that she says yes to something, she is investing a little bit more into you.
People don't like to be inconsistent – they prefer to ride out the wave once they get on it. Ask her to dance. Ask her to go to another venue.
Give her money to buy drinks while you go use the bathroom. The more times she says yes, the more likely she will say yes to leaving with you.
She does have to like you. Luckily, there are three main factors in getting someone to like you. People like others who are:
– similar to them.
– who give them compliments.
– who cooperate with them to attain mutual goals.
Well, look at that! You guys have so much in common. You love to read, watch movies, you're a huge Justin Bieber fan… Yes, if you can stomach saying that then it may very well get you laid.
But in all seriousness, the more things the two of you have in common, the more she will like you. If you compliment her, she is more likely to like you – just don't go over the top because she'll know you're too thirsty.
Most importantly, find small mutual goals that you conquer together. You're not having fun so go find somewhere else to party. Go try to catch a cab together – chase one down together.
Maybe you're both hungry and want to take a quick detour to the hotdog stand. Turn your sh*tty night into a great night together. Just make sure you are after the same goal, together.
Let her know she is making the right decision by letting her know others have made or would make it as well. It's very helpful if you are a very handsome guy whom women can't help but check out – she'll see that.
Women, like all people, don't like to think they may be making the wrong choice. If she sees that others are interested in you then she will more likely be interested in you as well.
If she knows that other women have trusted you in the past, say a girlfriend you had for a few years, then she is likely to trust you as well.
If people seem to like you then she'll feel that she is right in liking you too. People always look to others to see if what they like is something that should be liked – it's silly, but true.
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