The 12 Most Common Problems Men Have With Women And Getting Laid
I receive a lot of questions via email, and recently, there have been A LOT more than I can handle, but there is always a pattern. I had a look over the last 100 emails or so and came up with the most common questions. I've compiled them all and provided some of my best advice in this article. Enjoy!
1. Why Am I Nervous Around Women?
You get nervous around women because you're a human being who is intrigued and attracted by the opposite sex.
But you're also nervous around women because you create unrealistic scenarios in your mind – scenarios in which you see yourself failing with women. As a result, you get nervous and afraid of that failure. If you want to be more comfortable around women, don't focus on what YOU THINK will happen, focus on what you'd want to happen and use that mindset to fuel your confidence and drive to be around women.
2. Why Can't I Approach Women?
You can't approach women because you're afraid to fail. You're afraid that some girl will reject you, which will completely shatter your mental state whilst also humiliating you in front of your friends.
Until you learn to ACCEPT and EMBRACE rejection as part of LIFE and as something that NEEDS to happen in order to get laid, you will always be unable to approach women.
3. There's This “One” Girl I Really Like. How Do I Get Her?
Not me or any other man/player/God out there will ever be able to tell you how to get that one girl.
What I can tell you is that you'll NEVER be able to get that girl as long as you think she's something special. Until you've realized that there are 10,000 hotter, better and smarter women out there waiting for you, you'll never be able to understand why you can't get this one girl.
Also, until you succeed with at least ten or so hotter, better and smarter women, you will never BE able to get this one girl, nor will you ever be able to understand what you need to do in order to get her.
That one girl is only special because you BELIEVE she is. For me or any other dude out there, she's nothing but another chick. Thinking that she is special will change the way you interact with her; your successful seduction behavior (the one that got you laid with other girls) will not be the one you use here. You will only be able to get this girl when you manage to see her as any other girl out there.
4. What's The Best Way To Get Women?
This is a pointless question, but it still gets asked a lot. There is NO best way to get a woman. What may work for me will never work for you, and vice versa. That being said, the most fruitful thing you can do is BECOME a fun, sociable, likeable guy that exudes confidence and naturally attracts women with his genuine behavior.
Once you become that guy, you've found the so-called best way to get women.
5. How Can I Get My Ex Back?
The best way (and yes there's a best way here) to get your ex back is to completely change your entire self-image, whilst staying in touch with her so that she can see the changes.
Think of it this way: she broke up with you because there was something wrong that you did. People don't change, so she doesn't expect anything. If you do change the way you present yourself, from confidence to looks, to dress code, actions, etc., you will prove to her that you have indeed changed and she's missed a chance on someone awesome.
That being said, no woman is ever worth changing your entire self-image (almost your entire identity). That's just my two cents; you can do whatever you want.
6. How To Get The Number?
There's a million ways to get a girl's number but that should never be any of your concern.
The question is not how to get the number, but more so how to get a solid number. Solid numbers are harder to come by and lack of them is also the reason so many dudes get flaked on.
Getting a solid number means putting in some serious time with the chick you want to get it from. You need to present value and personality, create genuine interest, build attraction, and if you can, go in for a make out.
Once that's out of the way, you can just ASK for the number. Ninety-nine percent of the time, you will get it and it will be solid.
7. What's The Best Opener?
The best opener in the WORLD, the most successful opener I have ever used and continue to use on a regular basis is “Hi, I'm Alex. You are?”
This will work in almost all scenarios except the ones when there's a situational opener that you're absolutely sure will do better. Personally, I hardly ever find myself in such a scenario.
8. Why Can't I Ever Get To The Next Step?
Because you fail to express your sexual desires. Most women DO NOT automatically assume that you want to bang them. This is also why so many poor bastards land into the friend zone.
Think of it this way: women don't understand sh*t. If you're unable to show them what you really want, they will automatically assume that you want nothing but to be friends. I kid you not, this is exactly how so many women think.
With that in mind, you need to show every girl that you meet your intentions of banging her. A fun and great conversation is nothing if you do not make an attempt to touch her, kiss her, grab her ass, ravish her on the bed, and ask her out, or even ask her back to your place. Fearing failure when you're having “such a good time” will only result in a LOT of wasted time.
If she's only interested in your conversation then isn't it better to find out sooner rather than later? If you don't try at the right time, you'll just ask me later “how do I get this “one” girl?” and we already know where that's going to go.
9. When Is The Perfect Moment To Go In For The Kiss?
There is no perfect moment. I've kissed girls within 30 seconds of meeting, and I've kissed other girls for the first time just before I stuck it in.
Ideally, you'll want to gauge the level of interest she has for you in any particular scenario. I would suggest going in for the kiss during the first encounter (not first date) as that will help make a number more solid and it will also allow you to make out with her during (not at the end of) the first date, which can often result in sex at the end of it.
Without complicating this issue even more, a good way to go in for the kiss is to stop in the middle of your conversation and say, “Wait.” As she stops and waits for you to say something important, you lean in, pull her close and go all in. It usually works if the chick actually has an interest in you. If you're doing this randomly to the chick in front of you at the line in the supermarket, you seem to be failing at life.
10. Where Should I Take Her On The First Date?
Go to a dark place that serves drinks and ideally has couches. Sit next to her; never sit in front of her. Never go to dinner or any other food-centered dates, either. You want to be in close so that you can touch her stuff (leg, arm, face) and go in for the kiss DURING the date. Again, that will dramatically increase the chances of sex at the end of the date.
11. What To Do When She Doesn't Reply To My Texts/calls?
First of all, take a chill pill and relax.
Think of the reasons why you wouldn't reply to her texts. Maybe she's taking a sh*t, working or sleeping. Chill out. She will reply eventually.
If she's not replying after some time, we go back to the SOLID number issue. Remember the time when you asked her for that number? Do you think it was solid? If you're doubting yourself, it probably wasn't. That being said, you can try to call her again a push a little harder. By the SECOND time, if she's still cold, you've lost her, but you've learned that solid numbers are much better than ten regular numbers.
If you're convinced that it was indeed a solid number, realize that she has a boyfriend, and by the time she woke up from her drunken, horny adventure, she couldn't believe what she did and now wants nothing to do with you. Beat your chest like a real man, knowing that even women in relationships want to bang you. Once you're done with that, go out and get three more solid numbers. One of them will surely be a bang.
12. Why Do I Keep Getting Rejected?
You keep getting rejected because you keep approaching women and want to succeed. If you're asking me this question, then sir, I applaud you.
If you only ever get rejected and have a very hard time scoring the women you approach, you need to take a step back and review your entire game strategy.
How are you approaching these girls? Are you using that “best” opener I just talked about? I bet you that one in six women will talk to you just because you used that opener.
Are you being too pushy to soon? That might also be the reason you get rejected so often.
Does your breath stink terribly? Here's yet another thing to think about.
Are you an obese man approaching Scarlett Johansson-looking women? It might be time to embrace reality.
Rejection is the key to success. The only way to stop getting rejected is to stop approaching women. Since that's never going to get you laid, learn to live with and accept rejection, as it's your best friend. Every time you get rejected, you've learned something that doesn't work. Use that knowledge to your advantage and soon you'll be getting rejected only a few times a week.
This is the sort of stuff I discuss on my blog and in the free eBook I give out, if you want to increase your success with women, visit ThePlayerGuide.com – a place where the dating mindset is thrown out the window in favor of more direct and fruitful methods of meeting and seducing women.
Top Photo Courtesy: She's Out Of My League
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