The Lost Art: 10 Gentlemanly Acts That Men Need To Bring Back
There’s a myth that is perpetuated in the modern world: Gentleman can’t exist because women are capable of taking care of themselves.
We all know that women can take care of themselves just fine. That's not why men should be gentlemen. Men should go that extra mile for one simple reason: It makes (or at least, should make) you ladies happy.
Being a gentleman is all about making the woman happy. Nothing else matters. Here are 10 gentlemanly acts that guys should really bring back to the game – acts that are in no way threatening a woman’s independence, but are gestures highlighting how special we believe you to really be:
1. Hold doors open for her.
Yes, she can hold her own doors – she has arms and hands. But doing that extra work – no matter how minimal it really is – makes sure that she doesn't have to.
I tend to hold doors open for everyone – not just the women I date. Why? Because it's a nice thing to do. Strain yourself and expend your energy so that she doesn't have to.
2. Offer to pay the tab on the first date.
This one is a bit trickier, especially with our generation. The fact is that many of us, if not most, live on a very tight budget. It's often not possible to cover the whole tab because that'll mean you won't make rent.
If that's the case then expect to split the bill. If she likes you for the right reasons then she won't think twice about going halfsies. However, if you can afford it then you should at least attempt to pay the tab.
Personally, if I see that that is what she expects, then I know she's not my kind of woman – too high maintenance.
If she offers to split it with you even after you offer to pay for it, then thank her, but tell her that she can cover the tab next time. This almost guarantees a second date and leaves you looking like a gentleman.
3. Don't try to get into her pants on the first date.
This one is a hard one – I know. But getting into the sack too early on can kill any chance of a loving relationship. Why? Because there is no build up of sexual tension or excitement.
If you don't have to wait for it then you don't have time to think about how much you want it. Don't sleep with her on the first date because you'll literally enjoy it more a date or two later.
Unless, of course, you're just looking for a one-night stand – if that's the case, then gentlemanliness went out the door before the date started.
4. Keep your eyes on the prize and only the prize (not that she's an object, but you get the idea).
Men are libidinal creatures who want to get inside every, living thing. It's a fact of life. Luckily, we were born with brains that allow us to fight our urges to jump on every woman who walks our way.
With that said, keep your eyes away from other women. She may know that you want to sleep with every beautiful woman in the world, but she would like to know that you have enough self-control to pay attention to her and just her.
If you can't keep your eyes to yourself then, chances are, you can't keep your hands to yourself either.
5. Help her with her coat.
Again, she can do it herself. Or at least I hope she can… That doesn't mean that she should have to. Why would you help her put her coat on? A better question would be: Why not? Putting a coat on can sometimes be tricky – especially for women who seem to like to wear those teeny, tiny ones that their arms barely fit into.
Fumbling with a coat can be a bit embarrassing. Save her the embarrassment and the time and help her put it on. To add a cherry on top: It gives you an excuse to get close to her and see if there really is physical chemistry.
6. Make sure she gets home safe.
You had a great date. Now go and get her a cab. Don't expect her to get one herself. Cabs can be difficult to catch and, believe it or not, the darker it gets, the more dangerous it gets – especially for women.
This isn't me being a sexist. It's me being realistic. Make sure she either gets home safely or gets to her transportation safely.
If you don't take her home, then ask her to, at the very least, text you when she gets home safe. Little things like this go a long way.
7. Follow up with her the next morning.
I'm sure there are plenty of arbitrary rules that you believe you need to follow when it comes to following up after a date. Screw them all.
If you like her and she likes you, then she won't mind you contacting her the next day and telling her that you had a great time.
In fact, it's likely to put a smile on her face and that is the only thing you need to worry about. Don't hound her or push for another date right away – it's a turn off – but let her know that you definitely would want to see her again. Following up the next morning does just that.
8. Flowers go a long way.
Buying a girl flowers on the first date is a bit cheesy. However, if you've been dating someone for a while, then buy her flowers from time to time. It can be on date night.
It can be on a Monday, just because. If she doesn't like flowers then find something else that you can give her that will make her feel special. Go out of your way to make her happy – that's your job.
9. Make date night a special night.
The hook-up culture has turned the special occasion that used to be a date into cheap liquor, a movie at home and a pack of condoms.
The goal isn't, contrary to popular belief, to f*ck her. It's to enjoy your time with her. It's to create special and wonderful memories with her.
It's to live an enjoyable and adventurous life. Then, after you've done all that, you both deserve the amazing sex. But don't cut to the point because the point won't be as mind-blowing as it could be. Foreplay, not just the sexual kind, goes a long way.
10. Buy her things just because you want to.
If you can afford to spend money on your woman, then spend money on her. Why? Because it's one of the best investments you can make. If you really do love her, then give her the things that she secretly wants.
Buy her things, even little things, that are likely to make her day a bit better. This only works when you're dating a lady and not an entitled bitch.
Those will bleed you dry. If your woman wants nothing more than you, then give her everything and you. Give her the world if you can. She'll love you even more for it.
Photo via Great Gatsby