The world changes fast – culture, technology, ideologies. The individuals of Generation-Y find it harder to relate to the social expectations of generations past. The cultural mores between 1950 and 2012 have shifted significantly. In Where Have All The Good Girls Gone, we’ve divulged the longing for a 21st century woman with a strong sense of values and dignity.
Biologically, any fool with eyes and a zipper knows what his sexual reproductive organs are meant for; coupled with testosterone it is hard to dissuade your desire. Of course, some experimental promiscuity during adolescence and young adulthood is typical in our culture, and considered by most to be developmentally normal rather than pathological.
As a result of harsh mutual experiences, the team here at Elite finds this dream woman to be somewhat of a mythical figure. Sure, one of your close friends might have found one during his time in law school, some may be lucky enough to maintain the affection of their high school sweet hearts; for a vast majority of us, however, we are far from being that lucky.
[Note: We admit that the diamonds in the rough do exist and we are not denying the existence of beautiful women that we could take home to mother. And to this scarce group of amazing women, please feel free to send us an email. We would love to meet you]
Preference for frequent sexual contacts is not necessarily the same as being sexually indiscriminate. The latter, in women, indicates a possible compulsive, and therefore, pathological quality to free sexual behavior, referred to by males as nymphomania.
Such indifferent, and sometimes even random sexual behavior can be commonly seen in various mental disorders such as psychosis, manic episodes, substance abuse and dependence, dissociative identity disorder, as well as borderline, narcissistic and antisocial personalities, and can, in fact, often be partially diagnostic of such pathological conditions.
Men are philanderers driven by their own insecurities and misled ambitions, but what leads a woman to cheat? Aside from the topical answers of a foreign Cassanova making an appearance into an unhappy woman’s life, there must be more.
A survey conducted by Slate produced some surprises about global sex trends. Findings: 1) Persons are not losing their virginity earlier 2) Promiscuity is more common in industrialized countries than in Africa 3) Premarital sex is increasing only because people are getting married later 4) Married persons have more sex 5) The richer the country, the lower the ratio of male-to-female promiscuity
If you think someone is promiscuous, you might well be right. In a recent study conducted in the UK and published in Evolution and Human Behavior, Lynda Boothroyd showed that both men and women were able to judge the openness of men and women to a sexual fling based on photographs of their faces. The study showed that both genders judged men who looked “masculine” and women that looked “attractive” as, correctly, more open to casual sex.
It’s Always The Woman’s Choice
A variety of studies have shown that women get hornier right before they ovulate, and a study by David Schmitt of Bradley University shows that women’s preferences in men vary around the same time. In addition, another study conducted in 48 countries shows that women’s openness and propensity to engage in intercourse with multiple sexual partners (including infidelity) peaks in her 30s, while, for men it peaks in their 20’s. Schmitt hypothesizes that this is because women’s fertility begins to decline at that point in her life.
She Travels With Baggage
Jay Belsky, in study published in Child Development, found that women who grew up in stressful family situations tended to have more kids early without waiting for stable relationships because, he hypothesized, they were sure one was coming. He wrote, “harsh parenting in the first four years of life predicts early puberty and growth and thereby predicts more unrestricted sexual behaviour by the time the child reaches 15 years of age.”
Trust & Security
A variety of studies on both men’s and women’s propensity to sleep around is based in their ability to trust or feel secure in relationships. Schmitt says, “If a person was high in being able to trust other people, they were monogamous. If they were very low in trust they were much more likely to be unrestricted in sociosexuality.” He relates this, like Belsky, to childhood stresses and poor relationship models.
It’s A Testosterone Thing
A study Sarah Mikach and Michael Bailey of Northwestern University looked at the correlation between a woman’s sexual partners and how they look, felt or acted more stereotypically masculine and found, somewhat unsurprisingly, that woman who were identified as more “masculine” tended to have more sexual partners.
Of course, it all depends on the definition of “masculine behaviors,” but even when just taking biology into account, the theory seems to hold. Researchers believe that having a longer ring finger than index finger is related to prenatal testosterone exposures — and a study by Andrew Clark in Evolution and Human Behavior found that women with longer ring fingers tended to have more sexual partners as well.
Biology is all well and good, but thousands of years of judging male and female sexuality differently does have more than a little something to do with women’s ability to act on their legitimate sexual desires. Schmitt points out that, with the expansion of birth control, education, and access to social services for women, their ability and willingness to act on sexual urges definitely increases.
Fhionna Moore at the University of St Andrews found in her work that financially independent women didn’t tend to seek out so-called “good providers,” as much as they did supposedly good genes. Basically, once a society begins to near equality for men and women, providing women with more autonomy and less of an incentive or requirement to buy into patriarchal sexual mores, they don’t — and then many of them go have a bunch of sex.
Mating, romance, sex and love are inherently strategic. Our strategies are designed to solve particular problems for successful mating. Though modern conditions of mating differ from ancestral conditions, the same sexual strategies operate. – David Buss, Professor of Psychology, University of Texas at Austin
This explains why men have always placed a premium on sexual inexperience when selecting for long-term mating. American men, in selecting among 67 desirable traits, ranked sexual faithfulness and loyalty #1. According to The Evolution of Desire (Buss, 1994):
“Studies demonstrate that women’s preferences for short-term mates include availability as a marriage partner. They strongly resemble their preferences for a husband: kind, romantic, understanding, exciting, stable, healthy, humorous, and generous with resources.” In other words, women have high standards for both short-term and long-term relationships, or at least that’s how we’ve evolved thus far.
Conversely, men select for very different traits when seeking short-term sexual partners. Compared with their long-term preferences, men don’t want casual partners who are prudish, conservative or have a low sex drive. In contrast to standards for committed relationships, for short-term sex they want: “sexual experience, including promiscuity, and a high sex drive.”