Why We Need To Work To Keep Chivalry Alive, As Told By A Man
If there is one thing I can fully agree with in terms of blanket relationship statements, it is that our generation has grown to be one to embrace sexual independence.
Unfortunately, there seems to be this ongoing stigma in response to the emergence of women suddenly sharing the same sexual desires men have literally had since the beginning of time. (But hey, gender equality, shmender equality; am I right?)
Because of these obnoxious double standards, society has blindly adopted the beliefs that chivalry is dead, dating is done and being a decent guy is a complete waste of time.
If you put in the effort, you're just a sucker who is will come across as weird and clingy.
I am here to inform you that those assumptions are filled with about as much sh*t as a Nickelback “Greatest Hits” album.
The ugly truth is claiming those things are nothing more than a guy's way of pumping the brakes on the whole “commitment” thing.
And yes, that is an admission of guilt, having done so myself. Guys can be assh*les. It's not what we enjoy hearing, but it's the truth.
Our biggest problem is we let these stereotypes completely taint our views on relationships.
In doing so, we approach relationships in such a way that even the simplest things come off as drawn-out, tedious chores we're required to see out in order to make our significant others happy.
In reality, we should be looking at those simple gestures as the things we all want and deserve.
But the good thing is, there is a surefire way to avoid being the kind of assh*le who honestly believes chivalry is dead.
Don't be an assh*le who believes chivalry is actually dead. I get it, no guy wants to be the one in the group being made fun of.
Whether it's for being on his phone non-stop with a potential date, or constantly ditching guys night to go over to the girlfriend's apartment while she catches up on “Teen Mom,” being “that guy” is a pretty awful feeling.
But let's not act like it takes all the time and effort in the world to be a halfway-decent guy.
Now, I'm not saying every waking moment of your day needs to be spent thinking of ways to become the real-life version of a Nicholas Sparks character.
It can be as simple as the little things you've been hearing your entire life.
Things like a handmade card, flowers just because it's a Tuesday or holding her hand in public for crying out loud.
It doesn't have to be a $200 dinner in order to be romantic; it just has to be enough to show you think about her in more ways than just when her clothes are sprawled across the bedroom floor.
Seriously, it can be that simple.
My roommates and I were throwing the football around outside a few days ago, when just a couple of houses down, we saw a young gentleman opening the car door for what appeared to be his date.
And, I'll have you know that he received a booming round of applause from all of us as he shut the door of that small, environmentally-conscious vehicle.
If a 17-year-old kid can have his sh*t together enough to walk around and open up the car door for his date, then it's fair to assume you can at least sub out, “Yer f*ckin HOT!” with “You look incredible.”
Now, after all is said and done, will there still be girls out there who have absolutely no desire to be wined and dined, and just want to throw their inhibitions to the wind for a crazy one-nighter? Absolutely.
Will some girls get weirded out if you come out of left field with a romantic gesture? Sure.
But so what? We, as men, have gotten a ton of get-out-of-jail-free cards in the assh*le department, so why bitch and complain when we stumble across the girl version of ourselves?
If things don't go how you planned, you dust yourself off and you get your ass back on that horse.
There's no need swear off being a decent guy forever. Stop claiming chivalry is dead just because you got burned on a call-back from that girl at the bar.
Everyone likes to know he or she is appreciated. It's not rocket science.
It's how Jim got Pam and, hopefully, it's how I'll convince Anna Kendrick to go out on a date with me some day.
You put in time and effort so she knows you're interested. And if she isn't into it, oh well. You'll at least know you tried.
But, don't go through life thinking that cutting out effort in the beginning will lead to happiness in the end. If you put garbage in, you'll get garbage out.
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