This Girl Was Ghosted By Her Serious Long-Distance Boyfriend
Ah, ghosting. It's the dating phenomenon that happens when people are too cowardly to actually end things with the people they've been seeing, so they choose to just… disappear instead.
In this weekly column, I share a tale of a time a reader was ghosted (with accompanying screenshots) so you can see the last text that was sent or words that were uttered before someone decided to disappear forever.
If you have your own submission, please send it over to firstname.lastname@example.org.
This week, we have Anya*. She was ghosted by her long-distance boyfriend after two and a half months of officially dating:
In late March, my friend and I went on vacation with our other friend’s family. While there, I met her older brother, Adam*.
During this short weekend trip, my friends got so trashed, I barely hung out with them at all… Enter sexy older brother…
Adam and I talked all night on the beach, and once they went to bed, we hooked up. They even slept through a concert we had tickets for.
Adam offered to go with me, and we had an awesome time and went to dinner after. We spent pretty much the whole weekend together.
I ended up finding out he was at the tail-end of a divorce from his wife of three years, and I opened up to him about a lot of personal stuff, too. We just clicked.
He lives in another state, so I didn’t think we’d see each other again, but I was wrong. At the end of the weekend, he gave me his number and said he hoped to hear from me. I ended up texting him Tuesday morning to thank him for an awesome weekend.
From then on, a day did not pass without us talking. He called every morning and every night, and we sometimes talked for two, even three hours.
By the time May came around, he was flying me up to the city he lives in. We spent an awesome weekend together and continued talking every day.
By June, he asked me to be his girlfriend. And in July, we planned a beach trip for his 30th birthday. We spent five awesome days at the beach, and he told me he was falling in love with me.
I went back up to see him [in] early August for four days, and again, we had an awesome, relaxing weekend…
We never had a fight; we always had so much fun together. We literally talked about me moving up there next year if things worked out.
When I got back, he started acting kind of weird, calling less, texting less… but saying, ‘Oh, work’s crazy busy, things are the same with us. I love you, but…’
By the end of August, he just stopped calling or texting all together. Would not call me back, or text me back.
I gave up after a week. I have still not heard one single word from him. My friend was not happy about us dating, so it’s too messy of a situation for me to ask her many questions. He also made it clear he didn’t tell her much about his personal life.
So, here I am, two and a half months later, completely ghosted… honestly, the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to me.
Here’s a screenshot of our last texts. He called a lot more than he texted, so I’d say this was about a week before he disappeared.
The only explanation I have is something to do with his ex-wife. Long distance or not, why do that to someone?
Why not just tell them it’s not working out, or that you met someone else? Life’s mysteries…
I get a lot of these submissions. I never understand why anyone would think it’s OK to straight-up ghost someone they cared about in any capacity.
But I do take into account the possibility that, perhaps, the person didn’t care about the person they ghosted in any capacity.
And a lot of the time, with couples who were never officially dating or anything, I can wrap my head around that possibility. But for couples like this, who were in a full-on relationship, I am just completely FLOORED.
First of all, he went so far as to ask her to be his girlfriend. Then, he told her he was falling in love with her. THEN, he discussed the possibility of her moving to his city to be with him!
Then he decides to ghost her?! That’s just pure evil, as far as I’m concerned.
Does anyone get where he’s coming from? If so, please enlighten me. Or maybe you’ve been in Anya’s position? I’d love to hear your story!
*Name has been changed.
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