29 Tweets About Going Out To Meet Guys That'll Make You Want To Both Rage And Nap
Going out to meet guys can be the literal worst.
You have to overcome the anxiety of actually getting up from your soft, cozy couch. Then, you have to pick an outfit, which means you've got at least an hour of violently rummaging through your closet to find something that doesn't make you feel like you're trapped in sausage casing. And then, you have to pre-game by drinking terrible mixed drinks of vodka and whatever juice is in the back of your college roommate's fridge.
But by the time someone calls an Uber, you're drunk enough to blast sexy Snapchat selfies to all your “Best Friends,” plus that one guy you're still obsessed with, whom you went out of your way to add to the recipient group so it seemed like a casual mass snap. (Girl, don't pretend.)
When you pull up to the bar, you're feeling like Kendall Jenner on the runway as you strut inside, show the bouncer your ID, and quickly size up all the men.
You come to one conclusion, and one conclusion only: There are so many checkered button downs in here.
There is a range of emotions that come with going out to meet guys. One minute, the smell of beer and cologne takes up all your oxygen as you fight your way to the crowded bar to get a drink, anxious and tired and desperately in need of Netflix and your fuzzy blanket.
The next minute, a cute guy is enthusiastically chatting you up (or, you know, screaming in your ear because it's so loud), and you're taking something called a Green Tea shot with him and his friends. Then, he does something douchey or disappears, and you're bored and restless again.
It's an endless cycle of hopefulness, disappointment, and the crushing reality that your youth is passing you by and everyone around you is horrible. Here are 29 tweets about going out and meeting guys that'll make you want to rage and nap simultaneously.
Meeting guys at a bar sounds cool… until it makes you want to die.
Too tired. Sorry.
But it's also the latest meet-cute!
Tonight will be the best night ever!
OK, every guy is in a button down.
Every. Single. One.
Why are so many old dudes creeping?
Wait, meeting guys requires communicating with them?
Well, being a Republican is an immediate deal breaker.
Less talking. More drinking.
Sometimes, you just need to do some conning.
SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOTS, SH— OK, shots are actually kind of awful.
Is this guy trying to dance with you?
No. You're feeling yourself so hard RN.
But also… this.
Death is officially near.
This is straight up terrifying.
That moment when you realize the guy who bought you shots probably expects sex.
No need to get so angry, bro.
LOL at men who think women owe them anything ever.
We have literally all been here.
*sigh* If only it were always this simple and effortless.
Wow. The dream!
Very, very relatable.
Nothing worse than forgetting to give a hot guy your number.
Sometimes, though, fate has other plans.
Is it time to leave for pizza yet… ?
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