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Zero Sum Game: You’re Really Good At Not Letting People Love You

Everyone has a talent. Everyone has that one thing he or she is good at — that one defining trait.

Everyone has that one thing he or she contributes to society.

You? Well you're really good at not letting people love you.

Your skills include self-sabotage, denial and missed opportunities. Your specialties include ruining every good thing that happens to you and the inability to see love when it's in front of you.

But hey, you're really good at rejecting love. You're also really good at wanting something, only to ruin it once you have it.

You’re really good at getting drunk at the worst possible time and sobering up to a mess you can’t remember. You're really damn good at being alone.

You're really good at dinner dates… that end in tears.

You have the unexplainable skill of being able to put your foot in your mouth more than your food.

You take every intimate opportunity and ruin it with alcohol and a side of bullsh*t. You push away your date before it gets the chance to be anything more.


You're really good at sharing stories… with your therapist.

You open up to all the wrong people. Instead of telling the one person you love how you feel, you tell everyone else.

Instead of complimenting or praising your partner, you insult and pick on him or her.

You have a real talent for giving the wrong people the best part of you and the right people nothing.


You're really good at cuddling… with your laptop.

You’re not a natural in bed (I don’t mean sex). I mean you’re not a natural at sharing the bed or giving up your space to someone.

You’re so used to Netflix and Tumblr, you’ve forgotten how to live like all those people you’re always watching and reading about.


You're really good at opening up… old wounds.

Instead of letting the past go, you let it right into the conversation. You act like you're over something, and then bring it up every chance you get.

You’re a master of picking at a small cut until it hemorrhages.


You're really good at discussing the past… when it tears apart your relationship.

You don't remember the good, only the sh*t. You hold on to the worst memories and keep the guy who loves you chained to those one or two small mistakes he made so long ago.

You have a habit of not letting anything go of anything — but your chances at happiness.


You're really good at speaking your mind… when it's an insult.

The only time you're straightforward is when you're going straight for the heart.

You have the unnatural ability of finding digs in the smallest of incidents and turning small cracks into gaping holes.

You keep the stuff you should be telling him, like why you’re really upset, inside and let it seep out your own tiny pores.


You're really good at taking responsibility… for nothing.

No one can make a mistake like you and refuse to own up to it. You’re a magnet to bad decisions and a repellent of responsibility.

You feel guilty all the time but never for the one thing you should really feel guilty about. You never apologize yet always expect an apology from his side.


You're really good at pointing things out… when they’re bad.

The only time you’re complaining is when you're around your partner. Even if you’re normally really chill, you can change characters better than any Academy Award winner.

You’re really brilliant at playing the hostile, whiney bitch who is never happy with anything he or she does.


You're really good at recognizing flaws… in other people.

You’re a master picker. Instead of looking at yourself, you look at everyone else. You project your problems onto others and unfortunately never see that their flaws are just reflections of your own.

You’re really good at shielding yourself from your own problems.


You're really good at sharing… other people's mouths.

You’re the best at sleeping with every person except the one who loves you.

You find the right one, and instead of cherishing what you have, you cheat on him or her. You get drunk and make a “mistake.”


You're really good at being intimate… as long as you don't have to learn anyone’s name.

You’re intimate with all the wrong people. You get close to one-night stands and can’t get deep for one night with the one who is supposed to be forever.

You tell your secrets to everyone but the one who deserves to hear them.


You're really good at saying what you mean… when you're seven shots deep.

You only say what you mean when you can’t remember it. Ironically, it always ends up being the meanest thing. Another shot for another shot.


You're really good at meeting parents… when you know it's the last time you'll ever have to see them.

That time you got drunk in front of him and that other time you cursed like a sailor in front of his conservative mom — you’ve collected a few gems over the years.


You're really good at compromising… situations so they lead to nothing but destruction.

The only things you know how to compromise are your morals, word and relationships.

You find a way to tangle every situation into something that seemed previously foolproof. You can web your way into anything.

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Lauren Martin

Freelance Contributor

Lauren Martin is a Senior Lifestyle Writer at Elite Daily. After graduating from PSU, she moved to NYC to write fart jokes at Smosh Magazine. Making her way to ED, she now writes riveting commentary on nude pics, condoms and first dates.
Lauren Martin is a Senior Lifestyle Writer at Elite Daily. After graduating from PSU, she moved to NYC to write fart jokes at Smosh Magazine. Making her way to ED, she now writes riveting commentary on nude pics, condoms and first dates.

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