7 Struggles Of Being A Guy Who Wears His Heart On His Sleeve
Not every guy is the “bad boy” emotionless man made of steel. A lot of us (me included) wear our hearts on our sleeves, and are affected by other people’s thoughts, reactions and comments.
We are sensitive, always thinking that other people are judging us, which usually doesn’t help much when it comes to dating.
According to says Los Angeles based therapist Dr. Nancy Irwin, there is even a category called Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs), which refers to 20 percent of the population that becomes “overwhelmed, due to the nature of our dog-eat-dog society.”
I’m not saying that all guys who wear their thoughts on their sleeves are HSPs, but it is worth noting the impact society has on those who are deemed sensitive.
There are some advantages with being empathetic, like being able to easily express your emotions to others, but often people take advantage of this.
You are more vulnerable to the people out in the world looking to get ahead, and these “emotional terrorists” will do whatever and to whoever to get ahead.
Although it lets you connect with someone faster, by being the “nice guy” you are often faced with mountainous struggles. Here are seven struggles that guys who wear their hearts on their sleeves face:
1.They get taken advantage of, a lot.
“Women tend to ask for a lot of favors especially from nice guys,” says Samantha Daniels, Professional Matchmaker and Founder of The Dating Lounge App.
“And because you are so nice, you do the favors, and then you feel resentful afterward because you feel like the woman ‘used’ you or took advantage.”
2. They get stuck in the dreaded friend zone.
They are seen as nice and sweet and women, “love to have someone like that in their life, someone they feel they can rely on,” says Veronica Swett at Matchmaker at Elite Connections.
“Unfortunately for the man, he is pursuing someone he has no chance with. More often than not, when a woman labels a man as her friend, it stays that way.”
3. Following the friend zone, they become close confidants.
Women often see nice guys as non-threatening, and because of that seek the advice of these guys because they feel comfortable with them.
4. They show their cards too soon and lose the ability to surprise their partners.
“There’s value in a good surprise, whether it’s a sizzling goodnight kiss, or a second date she wasn’t sure was coming, says relationship expert April Masini. “Try to play it cool and not wear your emotions on your sleeve to get a more interesting relationship dynamic while dating.”
5. Nice guys just finish last.
Girls often look for the “bad boy” as the “idea of taming a guy can be more exciting than a good guy, with a stable job, a nice circle of friends and corduroys and sneakers,” says Lori Salkin, matchmaker and dating coach at Saw You At Sinai.
6. Like men, women enjoy the chase.
They don’t want everything to be so easy and “nice guys” usually fall into the trap of “letting a woman know too soon how much he feels for her,” says Emily Lyons, CEO of Lyons Elite Luxury Matchmaking.
7. They show failure on their faces.
In fact, “you can get away with quite a few mistakes if you don’t point them out. For instance, if you show up late for a date, instead of acting humble and nervous that you’re getting her mad, she may think you’re so busy and cool you only thought of the date casually and she’s going to have to work a little harder for your attention. You don’t have to let her see you sweat, because she may like you more because of what she thinks, not what she knows,” concludes Masini.
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