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Guys Reveal Situations Where They'd Pull Away If They Liked You Too Much

Women have often been told that when a guy likes you, it's simple: He asks you out, he follows through on the next date, and he commits to you sooner rather than later.

Still, that hasn't stopped us from overanalyzing the sh*t out of every single male behavior, hoping to crack some secret code about the way they treat us — especially when, apparently, there are guys out there who have liked a girl so much that they pushed her away.

I don't know about you, but I only hear about this kind of stuff happening in young adult fiction novels, not in real life. In my experience, if a guy is pushing me away, he just doesn't like me, and that's that.

Alas, it appears to be more complicated than that.

Reddit user xoxolexy asked r/AskMen to describe a situation in which they pushed a girl away because they liked her so much. Let's just say, you might rethink your crush's behavior after reading these.

This guy had a huge crush on a girl before finding out she was moving.

Pretty simple really. I had a huge crush on her, flirted with her for an entire semester, then found out she was moving to Paris after graduation. She asked me out and I said no, because I knew I would have a much harder time getting over her if we ever got together. Generally speaking, I try not to do things that are very likely to make me miserable.


This guy felt like he'd be a “drain” on his crush's life.

I realized that I was going to be a drain on her life, so I thought "Well, I'm clearly not going to be any help for her in the long run" and stopped talking to her. She got a boyfriend who isn't a shitty person, and he's a nice guy. He's actually the first love interest of her's that her brother liked just fine, so he's considered a keeper by everyone.


This guy gets attached to every attractive girl he gets comfortable with.

Every time I get comfortable with an attractive girl I get more or less attached. If the feeling is not mutual I leave her alone literally because I like her too much.

The few times I tried to make it work it was either too painful for me to stay or I got so clingy and annoying that I pushed her away.


This guy wasn't ready to date someone new.

I can come up with a hypothetical scenario. So I have this ex that I'm still sort of hung up on. I can imagine a scenario where someone new expresses an interest and I start to like them, but I might push them away because then it would ruin my chances to possibly get back with my ex. Actually had a dream along those themes last night….

So I guess if I just wasn't ready for someone then it could happen.


This guy felt like the age difference was too much.

Yeah it happens, liked a girl who I was pretty sure was into me, but the age difference made understanding each other's motives and wants difficult to read and the fact that we're just in different places in our lives meant that once I started having stronger feelings I had to stop talking so often.

She's beautiful and sweet and I wish she was about 6 years older.

Before anyone gets the wrong idea this isn't a troll post leading to a gross punchline, lol. She's not quite 20 and I'm in my early 30s. The actual spread of years isn't that big of a deal either. To be in my mid-30s and she in her mid-20s could work a lot better. But that's not the situation.


This guy was moving 1,200 miles away.

I had a girl that I liked and we had a chance to seriously date, but I was leaving school and moving 1200 miles away. I never pursued anything more than a friends with benefits relationship because of that.


This guy introduced his crush to his best friend, then lost them both — to each other.

One of my closest friends.

I have no experience romantically. I'm a virgin, never had a relationship. Mostly due to a shitty childhood in a small isolated town.

She was nice to me. She treated me like an equal instead of with pity or contempt. the two of which had generally been the norm.

we could talk for hours about niche topics that we both just happened to have an interest in.

I liked her, a lot.

but she didn't like me the same way.

I thought I grew to understand this. And I even got to be pretty close with her exes. But I could see the difference between them and I. both physically and personality-wise. and I had grown to understand that I liked her mostly because I had never in my life met anybody else like her.

Then I introduced her to my best friend. people used to mistake the two of us for brothers because of how similar we both are.

now they're a couple. and everything about it hurts. I talk to either one of them and the thoughts race.

I introduced them, They wouldn't fucking know one another if not for me. She was afraid to meet him at first and I reassured her.

would either of them do the same for me? I fucking doubt it. I'll never meet anybody through either one of them. why the fuck wasn't I good enough? What does he have that I don't? I know what I have that he doesn't. Social skills, Showering more than once a week, A driver's license and a car, the ability to cook myself a meal. So why is it that I wasn't good enough? Why is it that I've never been good enough?

Oh right! Because while my Parents kept me anchored in this Isolated hellhole His moved around, giving him chances to actually do things and have a fucking life!

I've had to distance myself from the both of them. Because I can't handle feeling that way. And Until I have something of my own to build off of (not just a relationship, But a life) I feel like it's going to need to stay that way.


This guy's crush had a boyfriend.

Met her through work a little over a year ago. Really liked her and got the chance to work alone with her a couple of times. Partied together once and she told me I'm really cute. Randomly had a class together one quarter. Found out she had a boyfriend from high school which bummed me out so I kinda kept my distance so I could get over my crush.


This guy wasn't ready to “be a good person” that a girl “could depend on.”

I was 25 at the time, single, military, living on my own, free. She was the same age, 5 year old kid, an ex that was driving her crazy. I really did like her, and she liked me too. She was funny, adventurous, could hold a conversation. Her daughter was great too, and I had a lot of respect for the two of them and the situation they were in. But I took an inward look and realized no matter how much I cared for the two of them, I just wasn't in the right moment in my life to be a good person that they could depend on. What they really needed was stability, and that was something I don't think I could have provided for them at the time. I am still friends with her, even though I am married and on another coast. They have a good support network of friends and family, and I am just glad that I was there to know her and be a part of her life for a brief moment in our younger lives.


Lesson learned. Nothing is as it seems.

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Alexia LaFata

Digital Editor

Alexia LaFata is a Senior Editor. She's a proud New Jersey native and Boston College graduate. When she's not writing, she's watching documentaries, practicing her Cher impression, or eating pasta. Stalk her at alexialafata.com.
Alexia LaFata is a Senior Editor. She's a proud New Jersey native and Boston College graduate. When she's not writing, she's watching documentaries, practicing her Cher impression, or eating pasta. Stalk her at alexialafata.com.

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