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It’s Not You, It’s Them: 6 Ways To Tell If You’re Dating a Narcissist

So you met someone.

This person is everything you ever wanted: charming, passionate and exciting.

But there's still something missing. You just can't put your finger on it.

Maybe it's that he or she literally will not stop talking about how amazing he or she is.

Hate to break it to you, but you might be dating a narcissist.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder involves “arrogant behavior, a lack of empathy for other people and a need for admiration, all of which must be consistently evident at work and in relationships.”

Narcissists come across as extremely cocky and don't understand how everyone isn't obsessed with them.

Sound familiar? Look out for these signs:

1. Enough about you. Let's talk about me.

Narcissists are constantly talking about themselves. They will gladly seize any opportunity to brag about their own accomplishments and put others down.

Oh, you had a great day? Don't care. Let's talk about mine.


2. I am good-looking and generous.

Most narcissists are extremely romantic and charming. They are like the sleazy car dealers who somehow get you to pay full price for that used Toyota.

Does your partner woo you with grand romantic gestures? There could be a dark side to the flowers, chocolate and expensive gifts.

The narcissist doesn't care how these things make you feel. He or she just wants you to love them.

The narcissists know if they impress you enough, you’ll be stuck. Once you are under their spell, it is so hard to escape.


3. Let's just keep it casual.

Getting serious with a narcissist is next to impossible.

He or she constantly makes false promises like, “I'm just really busy right now,” or the real winner, “I'm just so afraid you'll hurt me.”

If you feel like your love interest is never ready to lock it down, it's time to go.


4. I throw temper tantrums when I don’t get my way.

If you don't text narcissists back right away, they freak out.

If you go somewhere with your friends, they cry.

Narcissists have meltdowns similar to toddlers’. If they do not get their way, you will know it.

There is usually a spin to their tantrums. If you went out with your friends, they aren't freaking out because of jealousy or insecurity.

No, it's because they love you so much and want to see you.

Ever had one of those fights where you end up apologizing for something that didn't even happen? Narcissists love those.


5. I deserve the best.

Bring your partner to a restaurant and watch how he or she treats the staff.

If he or she is extremely rude and dismissive, this is a huge red flag. Narcissists believe they are above everyone, deserve the best treatment and should be catered to always.


6. All my exes are crazy.

If they tell you all their exes are “crazy,” pack your bags.

Narcissists tend to report that all of their relationships ended because of the other person. This is due to their inability to accept blame and feel remorse.

The only common denominator in these relationships is them.


Dating a narcissist is complicated. They are extremely skilled at reeling people in and getting them to stay there.

Your relationship may start to feel like a rollercoaster of amazing and absolutely terrible days.

This is how the narcissists trap you. You become entirely dependent on them to bring you out of the hole they buried you in.

This cycle may also cause you to second guess all of your decisions, as you’re afraid of upsetting the narcissist sleeping next to you at night.

Spotting these patterns early is extremely beneficial. If you ever feel like you aren't being appreciated or respected in a relationship, it's time to conduct a cost-benefit analysis.

Relationships are supposed to make you better.

The real test? Share this article and see who texts you saying, “Oh my god! I can't believe you think I'm a narcissist.”

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Whitney Hawkins

Contributor

Whitney Hawkins, M.S.Ed is a Registered Marriage and Family Therapy Intern and Certified Stress Management Coach providing services in Miami, FL. Whitney has a passion for working with frazzled, confused Millennials in an effort to end the incr ...
Whitney Hawkins, M.S.Ed is a Registered Marriage and Family Therapy Intern and Certified Stress Management Coach providing services in Miami, FL. Whitney has a passion for working with frazzled, confused Millennials in an effort to end the incr ...

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