Having a great sex life is crucial in a happy, fulfilling relationship.
Sure, it may not be THE most important thing. After all, there's all that love, mutual understanding and communication sh*t that serves as the cornerstones for happy partnerships. But I think we can all agree that a lack of steamy, hot, intense sex will dampen the mood substantially (and I don't mean "damp" in a good way).
If you're having sh*tty sex, no one is happy.
What makes sex good? It's a hearty concoction of chemistry, communication, passion, skill and horniness. It's a witch's brew of human hormones. It's chicken soup for a libido.
But it's more than that. There is one thing we're missing from this sweaty, passionate equation.
So, my dearest little chicken, I suppose the underlying question we have to ask ourselves is: How do we have good sex? What is the one be-all and end-all component to having an unmatchable, incredible, I’m-wet-just-thinking-about-you sex life?
It may be something you haven't thought of before. It may be a concept that is totally foreign to you. It is something that is usually done solo. It isn't something that is commonplace in the bedroom when you have a person there with whom to engage in coitus.
BUT WHAT IS IT? WHAT IS IT?
It’s masturbation! That's right, ladies and gents: All that time you spend alone with two fingers, a jar of peanut butter, a vibrator, an electric toothbrush or a sock was actually a step toward improving your sex life.
GASP! But how?
Let me explain. Prepare to have your horizons expanded, my sweet potatoes.
You get more comfortable with your body.
When you're having sex, I think we can all agree that we get a bit self-conscious. We're hyper-conscious of everything we do: the faces we're making, the ways our bodies look in different positions and the sounds coming out of our mouths.
Masturbating allows you to get more comfortable with yourself. You get more confident by owning and embracing everything you do during sex.
Not worrying about the way you look, sound or act during intercourse makes it better because you can concentrate on what really matters: having fun and having orgasms. When you know yourself, your sex life will be mind-blowing when the pressure is off because now you know what you want.
You learn what you like.
Sex with a partner is obviously awesome, but you're in a very vulnerable position. It is intimidating to try new things, to make suggestions or to figure out what feels good when you're busy trying to impress another person.
But masturbation is the perfect time for a little experimentation. By going HAM on your own body, you learn what does and doesn't work for you. And there is no one there to watch, to judge or to make you nervous when you do it. You're in Self-Exploration 101.
You first concentrate on what you want.
After a lot of masturbatory experience, you start to learn sex is also about your orgasm, not just the other person's pleasure. Too often, we're focused on making the other person feel good, forgetting that we're here to enjoy this experience just as much.
Regular masturbation is liberating and freeing. It lets you own your sexuality and accept that you are a sexual creature who deserves to feel amazing. Good sex is important, and the way to get there is by laying down the foundation you need to thrive.
You get better at giving directions.
One of the things that make sex so great is the confidence and knowledge to tell your partner what you want him or her to do (or not do) between the sheets. When you know exactly what it takes to turn you on and get you off, you're more fully equipped with the tools you need to direct your partner accordingly.
A lot of the time, we're not sure what we should do to make our partner feel good. Every body is different, and everyone has a different set of preferences when it comes to sexual activity. So give yourself a leg up by getting friendly with your downstairs bits.
You feel more connected to your partner.
Being in tune with your body is important to feel more connected to your lover's body. If you feel in tune with yourself, you can be in the moment and enjoy everything more fully, and you’ll better understand how to please your partner.
Masturbation is the key to the gates of your pleasure center. It gives you a unique insight into how your body works so you can be connected to everything that makes you feel good -- and that makes your partner feel good.
You have longer sex.
This may be truer for you gentlemen, but we all know that regular masturbation is a sure-fire way to make you last longer when you get to the real deal, full-blown sexy time.
No one wants to be (or experience) a 10-second Charlie. Who knew that those dirty magazines you made use of growing up would pay off when intercourse was introduced to the menu?
For the ladies, if you're on a first-name basis with your lady button, you can get to orgasm much quicker, which means an increased likelihood of MULTIPLE orgasms. Everybody wins.
You can spice it up in the bedroom.
You know what brings some serious spice into the bedroom? Touching yourself for your partner's viewing pleasure. Watching your lover get him or herself off to the image of your naked body is enough to send anyone through the roof.
On top of that, you know you're enjoying yourself because you know how to touch yourself in all the right ways. Knowing how to make yourself orgasm is sexy as all hell because it shows you are a confident person who isn't afraid to show off his or her skills.
You will feel sexy even when you're not getting laid.
When you engage in regular masturbation, you feel sexy. Even if you're single, you create your own sex life when you have a relationship with yourself.
Inevitably you will have moments when you aren't feeling your best. There are times in our lives when we don't feel sexy or desirable. But when you masturbate, you help yourself reconnect to that inner sex god or goddess that is lying just under the surface, waiting to be released.
Plus, if you're masturbating on the regular, you will automatically get that "freshly f*cked" sex glow that will attract new and intriguing lovers from far and wide. Everyone wants to f*ck someone who looks like they're getting f*cked regularly.
You don't depend on anyone other than yourself to have an orgasm.
If you indulge in regular bouts of ~me time~, you'll come to the realization that you can give yourself an orgasm without the help of another person. You are completely in control.
Your sex life will undoubtedly improve, because even if the intercourse is subpar, you know you can finish yourself off. It's one of the most empowering things in the world. Embrace it.
