Will You Be My Kinky Valentine? 3 Tips For Holiday Sexploration

It's almost Valentine's Day. Whether partnered or not, this is a day when many people will honor and explore, love, romance, sensuality, intimacy and sex.

In my work, February is a busy month. I often meet with a lot of couples who want to switch things up, either romantically or sexually.

One of the ways I help is by creating an erotic playlist. And I'm not talking about music. I design a playlist around what the couple wants to explore.

For many couples, this involves taking a walk on the wild side and exploring all kinds of erotic pleasures, such as kinky pleasures. A statement I frequently hear is, “I want to try kink, but I don't know how.”

That statement is followed by many questions on my part because my vision of kink will probably not be the same version as theirs. Sexual experiences are personal. Kink is personal.

When it comes to how we like it, each one of us carries an experience of  "hell yes," "yes," "no," "hell no," "fantasy only" and "Let's give it a try!"

Here are three tips for couples on the frontiers of the vast and diversified lands of kinky "sexploration":

1. Learn about and communicate your vision of erotic and kinky pleasures.

Make a list of your "hell yes," "yes," "no," "hell no," "fantasy only" and "Let's give it a try!" scenarios and talk about them. Set up guidelines, such as each partner must have five experiences under each category.

Have a date night just to talk about your list. This is pillow talk done vertically, so creating a sacred and intimate space free of distractions is important.

Are you struggling to come up with ideas? Use the oracle we call Google. I promise, you will find all kinds of kinky ideas if you search for them.

2. Create a pleasure chest.

It's like a treasure chest, only this one is strictly for pleasure. Decide what items and toys you want to have around for your erotic enjoyment. Educate yourself about their safe use.

Don't buy any vibrator (not all vibrators are created equally and for the same purpose), and, just don't buy any lube. Take your time with this.

I always suggest purchasing pleasure items that engage difference senses. For instance, two of my pleasure chest favorites are Lelo's silk cuffs and blindfolds. These make for perfect Valentine's Day gifts.

I love the feel of silk on my skin. I also love the way it feels on my partner's skin.

These sensual and soft cuffs and blindfold make for a perfect introduction to bondage-play. If these items aren't in your budget, then use something you have, like a satin tie.

Oh, you'd be surprised what I can do with a shirt tie.

3. Keep communicating, keep trying and keep connecting.

Sometimes, something on your list moves from "fantasy only" to "Let's try it!" Other times, you may find a "Let's try it!" moves to "hell no."

Guess what? These experiences are opportunities for couples to deepen intimacy, connect and learn to trust each other with a liberated sexuality.

If you're dreaming about a kinky valentine, make it happen. For Valentine's Day, think about the romantic environment you want.

Try setting a full scene, which involves manipulating and managing the room lighting, temperature, sounds and smells. Ambiance is everything.

After the mood of the space has been set, bring out that pleasure chest and let the hot, kinky "sexploration" commence. Will you be my kinky valentine?