You're Not Going To Marry Rich, Stupid

Time and time again you hear it from the mouths of countless females across the globe. It's the simple concept of women everywhere thinking that all their problems are going to go away and they'll just coast through life on expensive planes and yachts after they marry a man with a lot of money.

Not only is this an incredibly unrealistic plan for any lady but what many women don't understand is that there is no way there are enough rich guys for every girl that wants to marry one. The supply just doesn't match the demand. If you haven't noticed there is only a handful of men out there that are actually rich enough to give these women the lavish luxuries they have in mind and dream of.

Think of a small piece of bread touching the ground and a 100 pigeons fighting for it. That's the relationship between the world's truly rich men and the amount of women that want to marry them. Women being the pigeons of course.

What makes matters worse is that this recession has made these women go into desperation mode, meaning the heels are getting longer to impress all the men out there so that their bills can get covered. It is no secret that women are attracted to money more now than any time in recent memory, and this is usually for two reasons.

One is that they don't want to work or amount to anything on their own so they want to take the easy way out by marrying rich. The second reason is, as we said before, that they some how believe that they won't have to worry about anything ever again if their husband has money. Boy are they wrong.

The first thing you must understand about marrying rich guys is that they have a very fine taste. They are perfectionists and they don't settle for anything less than a 12 on a scale of 10. That being said, it is safe to say 90% of women who say they are going to marry rich aren't even worthy of doing because they just are not hot enough. You can put make up on a pig but at the end of the day, it's still a pig.

Regardless of how they look, way too many of these women believe that once they are 30 and finally done banging half the city they live in, someone out there who is educated and worldly is going to pick something up that is clearly broken and incapable of repair. I truly cannot tell you how many times I have heard a girl say this, seriously convinced that a rich man will be waiting for them no matter what they do to tarnish their reputation each day.

Rich men are the farthest thing from gullible, which is why they are rich in the first place. They know a thing or two about life and they can see right through a gold digger within seconds. The women that do end up marrying rich usually have two key characteristics.

The first being that they are ridiculously hot and young, so you're 30 year old busted ass isn't going to do it. The second is that they know how to mask their gold digging tendencies by making men fall in love with them before they give it up.

When you see a 55 year old man with a 22 year old girl, you know that she is there for his money, not his looks or personality. There's really nothing wrong with a girl being with someone solely for his money, since their expensive lifestyles do a great job stimulating this economy in such hard times. What we do have a problem with, however, are these pathetic women that rely on their destiny of marrying rich because they are too lazy to work for their own fortune.

They wait until they are 30 to find someone because they use up their peak years making bad decisions with the men they really belong with. They hit their mid life crisis at the age of 27 which in their world means watching Sex and the City for a week straight, eating so much chocolate that it ruins their formerly perfect body. These women never end up with a rich man because rich men aren't stupid enough to marry women this dumb.

Rich men want women that are smart and can actually hold a conversation, not an immature materialistic idiot that only talks about which celebrity their best friend managed to fuck last weekend. Instead of depending on men to be the savior to all your problems, why don't you girls actually try to do something with your life and work hard towards what you want?

Of course this advice will go through one ear and out the other because marrying rich involves a lot less work than an actual career. We have even heard stories of girls' taking a man's sperm and putting it inside of them to receive paychecks for the rest of their lives after they have the baby.

What women don't understand is that the last thing they should be after is a rich guy. Why? Because they are assholes and they will cheat on you with someone hotter, younger and tighter and you will be replaced just as fast as any other possession.

That's all a trophy wife is, a possession. So when a girl says she wants to marry rich, she's basically saying that she is too weak to fulfill the responsibilities of being human and would rather become a lifeless object instead.

Chase Hitchens | Elite.