Men Admit The Unrealistic Expectations You Have About Dating And It's Pretty Spot On
Look, it's not women's fault that pretty much all mainstream media has taught us all we need to do to find true love is sit at a bar on a rainy night, and in should walk a talk, dark, mysterious, semi-damaged but totally lovable stranger to sweep us off our feet.
MEN, GET WITH THE PROGRAM. WE'RE WAITING.
TBH, though, their responses are kind of fair and probably a lot more accurate than us ladies would like to admit.
Take a look and see if you have any of these expectations for the guy in your life.
This guy thinks all women anticipate their own fantastical “fairy tale moment.”
Maybe the idealized romance part of it. I had an ex who, while we were going out, complained that we didn't meet "by locking eyes from across a crowded room and knowing we were meant for one another" or something. (We worked together and basically got together via a few drunken makeout sessions.)
That you're going to know you found "the one" the second you meet them. Not all relationships happen like the movies, y'all! Life isn't a fairytale. Sometimes you go through some major bullshit (it's called life) before things work out. Sometimes it's easy. Or just because things are really hard in the beginning doesn't mean it's "not meant to be" or whatever the hell "live laugh love" poster preachings are. Relationships are hard because people are complicated & also, because life is not always kind no matter how kind you are.
I went out with a girl once in college who said she's "waiting for her Disney moment." As in she wanted to meet the flawless prince who would take her away and everything would be perfect after that.
This guy wants women to know being in love won't fix all of their problems.
That being in a relationship will automatically make her happy and if she isn't happy it's all your fault for not making her happy. How is your shitty job, shitty apartment and crazy family my fault? I have no connections to those things!
These guys think a lot of us are too preoccupied with the tall, dark, handsome and RICH men.
It certainly feels like a lot of young women my age (early twenties) are waiting to be swept off their feet by a financially successful older man.
I have a lot of young female friends who expect to marry rich or get into money by having a rich partner. Their requirements are also that their partner is handsome and at least 6'2". They themselves offer nothing.
I'm still not sure how they think that's going to work out.
The "daddy" phenomenon, as experts describe it.
This guy thinks women have an outrageous set of standards when it comes to romance.
That a guy is just supposed to know what's important to you and if he doesn't he's not the guy for you. I got into a huge fight once because I didn't do little "gestures" to show I cared. It wasn't that I didn't do gestures… because I did. I didn't do the RIGHT gestures. I didn't randomly buy flowers. I didn't randomly buy cards to show I cared. I didn't call her in the middle of the day to have a meaningful conversation.
- Hang the curtains you bought in our bedroom without being asked and surprised you when you came home.
- Buy you a coffee maker for my apartment so that you could have your daily routine when you started your day.
- Stock your favorite breakfast foods at my place as well
- Try to make dinners you'd like
- Bought those plane tickets to see your family without asking for money
- Text you during the day while I am in important meetings to let you know I was thinking of you
- Change my schedule DRASTICALLY to spend more time with you
- Didn't make a big deal out of your little dog pissing all over my place when you stayed over even though you should have him trained better
- DOZENS of other examples
But again, because it wasn't the gestures you wanted, they didn't count.
These guys feel not all women understand a relationship requires effort from BOTH people.
That they have to put no effort into the relationship. I'm not going to keep dating someone who expects me to pay for everything, always come up with activities and always has to initiate conversations. If you act like you aren't interested in the relationship then I'll look elsewhere.
The guy generally has to go first, be more, and better to appear to be worthy.
I'm somehow supposed to be in wholeheartedly with them while they project that they're on the fence about me. Willing to throw my money at them while they are projecting they might not even give me the time of day. Be witty while they listen, rock a party while they observe, make suggestions while they're indecisive, be directed while they flounder, and be capable while they're clueless.
Come the fuck on, can I live?
They're disproportionately concerned about what the guy's bringing to the table but not at all about what they do. There's an assumption of worthiness on their end, sight unseen of what they're actually capable of. But God help you if you're a little short, a little boring, a little inexperienced, or what have you.
This guy thinks girls need to get better at rolling with the punches.
That being able to work out relationship problems isn't a necessary skill because their "perfect man" will be on the exact same wavelength at all times. Every couple fights, every couple has disagreements, and ending a relationship the first time you get into an argument is stupid and childish.
Some guys feel like women can be too clingy too quickly.
That from that point on everything is done together 24/7. That we no longer have separate lives or feelings.
That you'll be a set piece in their instagram life. The millennial women's obsession with instagram as their vanity mirror is a little off putting to me.
At the end of the day, we shouldn't expect guys to have any clue how dating works in general, according to this guy.
Guys know what they're doing.
Ladies, do as Kim K once said: “Let go and let God.”
And by that I mean, let's drop the BS and get over ourselves. Your “Prince Regular Guy Who Loves You Very Much” is out there, and you will miss him if you don't pay attention!
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