Men Reveal The Intense Reasons They Suddenly Ended Their Long-Term Relationships
No one gets in a relationship with an expected expiration date.
When things start to blossom with a new love interest, ideally, you're in it for the long haul. You want things to last forever. There's a sense of excitement in getting to know one another over time and continuing to celebrate how long you've existed as a couple through repeated anniversaries.
That being said, it's hard to fully trust that something will eternally last even with all the love in the world.
Sometimes, things just happen. People can fall out of love and long-term relationships fall apart. People can realize that “the one” they're with may be an amazing human, but they're just not “the one” they're supposed to be with.
The very wise Selena Gomez once said “the heart wants what it wants,” and I don't think she's ever been more right.
A whole bunch of men took to Reddit to reveal the one thing that made them suddenly jump ship and call it quits on their own long-term relationship.
Everyone's got a valid reason.
These guys never felt anything when their girlfriends were away.
That being away from her didn't bother me. I went to college two hours away from her, and didn't feel a thing. It wasn't really out of the blue, but it definitely played a big role in my decision.
Everytime she wasn't around I was happy
This guy was more into the concept of a relationship than the girl he was actually with.
That after 3 years I didn't actually love her at all, I just loved the idea of being in a stable relationship.
Since he didn't really want children, this guy considered the relationship over.
That I was going to have to have kids to stay with her.
Cheating was a huge factor for these guys when it came to ending their long-term relationships.
She had a boyfriend in another country and thought it was ok
That she was cheating on me…
Found out he'd been cheating on me on an industrial scale since the beginning of our six year relationship. That was a bit of a boner killer.
Infidelity, which I'm betting will be a good chunk of answers. Happened to me twice. Both times I had a sense that something was wrong for about a month before I stumbled upon concrete evidence. It's hard to explain the feeling. I want to say "drifting apart" but really it's just a feeling deep in your gut. The first time I was surprised. The second time I knew well before she told me. Trust your gut. If you feel like something is wrong it usually is.
Edit: Too many words.
When I came home and found her in bed with my roommate. Ended right then and there.
These guys broke up with their girlfriends after finding out they lied about their careers.
She had been an escort the entire time. So many lies. Put my health at risk too. She literally told me she wanted to have my children and build a future with me the week before I found her account and messages to various johns asking pricing for services. I still want to puke when I think about it.
She gave me too good a lapdance.
Actually, I found out she was a stripper after about 5 months of dating–because of a lapdance. She claimed she was a hairstylist and a part-time bartender. She was beautiful, always made-up and hair done perfect. She was a nice girl, very sweet and had a bubbly personality. She loved beer and expensive shoes. We got along great except I could never actually believe her when we talked about her job.
She always worked late; she would never spend the night. I almost never saw her on Friday or Saturday nights. She always had way too much cash. For a bartender, she didn't know much about alcohol and was pretty shitty in the kitchen. She dressed very well but also had some of the trashiest clothes that she never wore and didn't seem to fit with her personality.
Then one day, during some foreplay, she gave me a lapdance. It wasn't a cute and giggly lapdance that you would expect from most girls; it wasn't even something you would expect from someone who had experience grinding on their SO. It was 100% stripper-grade. Seriously, no civilian could give a lapdance like that. It was surgically erotic but she was so detached while doing it. It was like a switch flipped and she went into stripper mode. As soon as she started, I knew. Everything suddenly clicked. I didn't immediately break up with her but I kinda just let it fizzle out.
THEN almost 2 years later, after a long night out, a friend and I ended up at a strip club and guess who was there? She recognized me and, of course, I got a lapdance. While she was grinding on me, she was making excuses about how this was a temporary fix for her credit card debt (when we were dating, she bragged about how she would never purchase anything on credit because she didn't believe in credit cards). I said that's too bad and then gave her another $40 to give my friend a lapdance.
She started texting me as soon as we left the strip club saying how she had a great time and missed me but I just didn't want to deal with it.
For the record, I wasn't upset that she was a stripper (I've dated a stripper before), it was that she lied to me for nearly 6 months.
This guy was fed up with his girlfriend's anxieties and uncertainties in life.
That she had no real control over her anxious impulses and overall mental health. I was about to drive down an visit her, a 90 minute drive, and I told her "My goal is 10am, but maybe as late as noon if [unlikely thing that I anticipated might happen] happens." And she couldn't handle the uncertainty in the slightest. She kept asking me when exactly I was arriving. When I repeated my answer she seemed to accept it, but then asked when exactly I was arriving in different terms, or said she was asking because someone else needed to know when exactly I was arriving. She brought it up over and over, at least 5 times over a the course of what should have been a Skype date; She really couldn't accept that I had a general idea of my arrival time, but couldn't say for certain.
I was a really small thing, but spoke volumes about where she was with her mental health; right then was the moment where I knew I couldn't date her any longer.
Disagreements on marriage and the future led this guy to end it with his long-time girlfriend.
When we got serious and started discussing marriage type things.
Major conflicts on big issues like how to raises kids, our sex life etc.
Refusing to attend his mother's funeral led this guy to ditch his girlfriend.
When he refused to go my moms funeral. That was it for me.
The concept of sacrificing his dream career was a complete relationship deal breaker for this guy.
That in order to stay together, one of us would have had to give up our dream career.
There were a lot of small things which simultaneously eroded our relationship, but they all stemmed from this one key incompatibility. Once we fully realized it, I knew we were over.
These guys were completely indebted to their girlfriends, but they never showed signs of that same love.
That she had been struggling and depressed in our relationship for months.. because she knew I was committed and loved her, but she couldn't reciprocate.
Either due to past traumas she hadn't healed from yet, or fears of commitment, or hell, maybe even just not attracted to me anymore. I'm not 100% sure why two years went down the drain in a single day, even her family was like, "wtf, I didn't expect this at all!"
But what can I do? All I do now is hit the gym and work, I'll find a new girl eventually, but I am hurt that she just threw away all our time and love we had so abruptly.. not even trying to work it out or do counseling or anything, just, bye.
That is life though.
Realizing she didn't actually care about my happiness or well being. It was always what I could do for her, and that I never did enough.
Every time I tried to talk about my life or my problems she'd always snap "quit reverting things back to yourself." "you always revert things back to yourself."
Our relationship lasted seven years, almost to the day. But I'd rather be alone than be actively dismissed like that.
This guy ended it after his girlfriend tried to trap him with a fake pregnancy.
When she faked her pregnancy in order to keep me around. It failed because when I bought her a pregnancy test she refused to take it and questioned why I didn't believe her. I played her game for a few weeks long enough for us to go out a few more times, spend some alone time and let her drink and do shots. She forgot about her being "pregnant" by saying "what are you talking about?" when I showed my "concern" for our babies well being that she was drinking during her first trimester.
I dumped her, but kept tabs on her from a distance to verify that she was in fact never pregnant. She never was.
This guy's concept of honesty was much different from that of his girlfriend's.
That her idea of 'complete honesty' was significantly different from my own.
For her, it meant technical truth but excluded white lies/lies by omission if it meant keeping the boat steady. I get the motivation, but I counted that as being untruthful. She made a few 'mistakes', but then I ended up catching her out in a much bigger lie of omission which definitely could not be swung as absentmindedness. I took that as pretty damn deliberately deceptive, broke up with her 24 hours later, and moved out after a week.
And if you are a fan of Olive Garden… I guess just break up with yourself.
She liked olive garden. Disgusted that someone would have such a warped conception of italian food, I had to make it right. One bite of hand-made pasta and she'd shed her OG club card forever–or so I thought.
I planned a weekend in Chicago and I took her to a great italian place, Coco Pazzo. The next week I asked where she wanted to go to dinner, she said Olive Garden.
I broke up with her the next day.
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