A Lesson In Lying: When Did Men Start Talking So Much Bullsh*t?

I’m not sure when it happened, but sometime, somewhere, men were told that you can say whatever you want and it doesn’t matter.

Women, on the other hand, weren’t given this talk. In fact, they were given a completely different one. They were told that you only tell someone how you feel when you mean it. They were told you can only say “I love you,” when you're willing to love someone for longer than a night.

For years, men and women have been living with two completely different notions of what it means to tell someone how you feel. For years, men have been spitting out bullsh*t and women have been eating it up.

This realization, this simple understanding, that we've been eating sh*t for so many years, comes as a pivotal moment in every woman's life.

While it may come at different times for each one of us, it always happens after that one incomprehensible, earth-shattering moment: How did he go from saying “I love you” to never calling me back? How can someone who thinks I’m so special not want to see me again?

This truth comes as a revelation. It’s a pivotal moment in a woman’s life, comparable to the time she finds out her body will never look like a Victoria’s Secret Angel’s and Cinderella is f*cking bullsh*t.

Finally, that lights come on and even though the truth is harsh and changes her forever, it’s necessary. She's enlightened, matured and sees the world in a completely new way. All those questions that bothered her for years finally have a simple answer: men lie.

Men lie. Once you learn that, everything changes. And while life may be a little colder and less fluffy, it becomes a whole lot clearer. Their words may not give you that high they once did, but you also won’t come crashing down from them like you used to.

Yet, while we know they bullsh*t, there’s still some questions as to why. Why do men put such little importance on the words that are coming out of their mouths? Why do they not care about the repercussions of what they say?

Because a woman would never, ever say, "I love you," if she didn't mean it (a sane woman, at least).

When they were told it will get women into bed

I'm not sure if it happens after school under the bleachers, in dimly-lit cathedrals or hidden caves, but at some point, boys everywhere are taught the lessons of how to sleep with women. They are told how to talk, act and dress to impress a woman enough to get her into bed.

They are told that telling a woman you love her isn't about love, it's about sex.

Because they don't worry about the consequences

What's the big deal? You lied and she'll get over it. That must be how they think about it, right? Because they don't seem to care that it's making women crazy. "She'll get over it," is a very easy way to avoid the guilt that comes with deceiving someone.

And we do get over it. We learn the truth and grow hard and combative. And after years of refusing to trust the bullsh*t, we're labeled as "guarded" and "cold." So really, it's just the women who deal with the consequences.

Because women are "crazy" and men are romantic

The movie industry may be partly to blame for this one. In every romantic interpretation of the relationship between man and woman, the rules are set all wrong. If a woman says, "I love you," she's "crazy." Yet if a man says it, he's romantic.

Men are allowed to feel things on the first date that women can't because they're an exception. In actuality, it's just the media placing top tier bullsh*tters at the level of the romantic.

At that moment, they meant it

Not all men bullsh*t just to be assh*les. A lot of them get swept up in the heat of the moment and believe their feelings are real. The light of day, however, always reveals the rotting carcass of the words that were dropped like bombs just hours earlier.

To speed up the process

If women are dogs, then Pavlov's theories are not wasted on them. Sex is the treat and the bell is bullsh*t. If you give her enough bull, she'll eventually believe you and sleep with you.

Men have been socially-conditioning women to sleep with them since they learned that words are powerful, and getting a woman into bed is as easy as giving her a sugar-coated piece of bullsh*t.