Relationships

4 Ways To Deal With Missing Your Ex's Family After You Break Up

by Rosa Escandon
Mauro Grigollo

Most people hate their SO's family.

And even if you aren't married, the archetypal "mother-in-law" inspires the type of disdain that's usually reserved for people who like their own Facebook statuses.

But sometimes, you luck out with a winner. And in that moment, you have been truly blessed.

Then, you get to be part of an amazing family, and they basically treat you like one of their own.

But unfortunately, if you end up breaking up, you can lose more than just one person.

A week after me and my current ex broke up, I had to mute his sister on Facebook because it made me sad every time I saw her updates. And while I know we are all supposed to hate our "in-laws," I can't be alone in this.

So, after a month of being sad not only about one man, but also an entire family, I have come up with some tips on how to cope when you miss your ex's family just as much as your ex.

1. Don't be creepy.

Fight the urge to text his brother to say, "We can still be chill." Even though you could totally still be friends, remind yourself that no matter how much you like the same 1980s B-movie, he's your ex's brother first.

Never forget that, and make sure you set up the appropriate boundaries.

2. Likes are OK, but don't push it.

Don't de-friend, and don't unfollow. You don't want to cause drama. You know these people.

But just don't go overboard. As a rule, you should not be liking or commenting on something more than your ex does. It doesn't matter how cute the photo is.

If he hasn't liked the shit out of his little cousin's first day of school pictures, then you definitely shouldn't.

Really, this comes back to my first point: Don't be creepy.

3. Avoid things that remind you of them.

Now, this might sound dramatic, but you just broke up with a family. You can be dramatic.

You will thank me when — for some reason — you are crying while eating dinner because you realize you will never experience his mother's rice recipe ever again.

You will feel crazy, but remember this is all part of the grieving process. Avoid focusing on the past and try to move forward. You got this.

4. Focus on the people who are still in your life.

Yeah, maybe you have your own family you can turn to during the holidays and when you need affection, but there are hundreds of families you can creepily impose on.

All your friends have families. Roommates, work wives and pretty much everyone you know has a family. And those families will probably take you to dinner after you've been through a really bad, heart-rending breakup.

In all seriousness, breakups aren't just with a person. Family, friends and even places can get wrapped up in it.

And I don't care if this makes me weird, creepy or insane: I miss a family that isn't mine. And that is also going to take some time to get over.