Relationships

Why No Matter How Much You Think You Do, You Never Really Know Anyone

by Saima Khan

We talk, we laugh, we cry, but do we know what goes on behind closed doors?

Behind the words, there might be complications, behind the laughter, there might be wistful smiles and behind the tears, there might be painful memories.

Thin walls separate one from millions and what’s on the other side creates all the confusion.

During an intent gaze, a curve on the lips, a crease on the forehead or a gesture of the hand, could there only be a single meaning behind each motion, or could it be a matter of a thousand?

The reasons make a mind, the mind combines with the soul and the combination creates a personality or the substance of a person.

You can never really know people because you can never really understand a personality, figure out the words behind the emotions or comprehend the perfections behind the imperfections.

It really isn’t possible to know someone just by talking or being with him or her.

Yes, you could be talking to your partner all the time before marriage, and you are certain that you know him, but are you 100 percent certain about your certainty?

Do you know if he puts the cap back on after using his toothpaste? Have you ever wondered what he would do if he spotted a beggar on the street? Do you know what he does if he wakes up in the middle of the night?

These are little things that are not really important, but when you think of it, one of these might just be a reason for your next argument. You just never know.

To be honest, as much as we make ourselves believe that we know people, we never actually do.

She closed her eyes and a teardrop fell. When asked what had happened, she would just say nothing. But, that "nothing" could mean everything.

He tilted his head up and laughed at the sky. When asked what was so funny, he would say nothing.

But, that could also mean every syllable in his mental conversation was way beyond his answer. People exist for a reason and reasons exist for people.

Individuals have different perspectives and different approaches. A masculine figure can exist as a father, a brother, a son, a husband or a friend.

Similarly, a feminine figure can exist as a mother, a sister, a daughter, a wife or a friend.

However, the most difficult equation of life exists here — an equation where the value of the unknown is infinite because we can never get to know people from all the angles they offer.

We realize later that we just knew them superficially when we found out the equations didn’t match.

We can never really know people, but we can understand certain people in our lives and based on that understanding, we create wonderful relationships that promise to last.

Ultimately, relationships break, not because you failed to know him or her, but because you failed to understand. Understand rather than know because the latter is within your capacity.

It’s not actually true that we realize the importance of certain people in our lives when they go away. The truth is we never imagine losing them until they make it reality.

Nevertheless, we should never stop them from leaving because if they choose to leave, it only means the roles they played in our individual stories are over.

Of course, new people will come in and fill holes made by the ones who left. On the canvas of life, we often go off color.

But, as long as there are special people to add the right shades, life goes on to be a rainbow.