This Video Is The Ode To The Clitoris That We've All Been Waiting For

OK, sugar babes, I have some excellent news for you on this boring Wednesday. Also, can we quickly discuss why Wednesdays are so horrendously unbearable and so deeply boring? They lack the manic intensity of a Monday, the survivor's thrill of a Tuesday and the exciting weekend energy of a Thursday.

So, I'm here to brighten up your dismal, dark Wednesday afternoon, sweet darling. Because you know brightening up your day has always been the ultimate goal here. Even when I pen 2,000-word personal essays about being depressed, medicated and self-destructive, the end goal is always to make you feel better about your life. I'm protective of you because I love you.

That's why I'm going to show you this viral video my horndog editor Alexia showed me on this (boring) Wednesday morning. (And I get called the perv? I'm not the one sending out clit videos to my team.) It's performance artist and singer-songwriter Dorian Electra's ode to le clit, which she did in collaboration with Refinery 29.

Did you know the word “clitoris” is actually Greek for “divine and goddess like”? Think of your clit like this gorgeous, holy goddess whose sole purpose is to bring you epic feelings of spine-tingling pleasure. Her palace, babe? Your BOD. How can you not love your body when you know it's a home to a regal Greek goddess?

Also, this is important to note: The clit is the only part of the human body that exists simply for pleasure and pleasure alone. She's not there to make babies, please dicks or do any of the other matronly tasks that sexist trolls think we're only good for. She's there just to make you feel good, and in these trying times, it's more important than ever to feel good. And she's there to remind you that you don't need to be codependent on an outside entity to make yourself feel good.

OK, so my love for the clitoris might be a little amped up because I'm a lesbian, but Ms. Clit is mainly here to remind us that we don't ever need to be codependent on an outside entity for happiness. We can make ourselves feel happy with just the touch of a fingertip to the clit. (That should be the name of my memoir, "Fingertip To The Clit.")

If you forget your independence, holy clit is there to remind you of your autonomy. She's sitting pretty beneath your stifling jeans, whispering, "Touch me, and I'll turn you on, honey. Don't worry about him, and forget about her. I'm here as long as you're here, and we're in this for life."

So, drink up this video (clit it up?) girls, open those mascara-adorned eyes and watch. You're about to see sex and art intertwine, and the result is nothing short of a masterpiece. Lucky bitches.