Why Talking Politics On The First Date Won’t Land You A Second
So you met someone at a bar, a club or at the check-out line at Trader Joe’s last weekend. Names and numbers are exchanged, dinner is planned and conversations begin to brew.
You may have conceived a preliminary script in your head while you were getting ready. It could involve an array of questions about the dog you saw while scrolling through his Instagram, how she landed the HBIC job title at her firm before age 30 or if he really liked those frozen veggies you saw lying across the top of his grocery cart when you initially met.
Did sparking some talk about gun control, abortion laws, Hillary Clinton’s pantsuits or Marco Rubio’s devilishly good looks come to mind? Unlikely.
But perchance your date comes just after the Iowa Caucuses, or perhaps you started seeing someone at the cusp the Republican and Democratic National Conventions.
In an election year, politics are discussed more on average by Americans than during other years. Why? Let’s chalk this one up to the idiocy of some of the candidates up for office, the party debates that have blown up social media and the hypocrisy that ensues between same-party candidates on a frequent basis.
But when it comes to dating, should we address our political views and values over character compatibility and physical chemistry during the first go round? The simple answer is no.
Though I’m biased in my choice to lay low and not discuss my political views openly, in the way many Millennials do, it’s important not to let the views and values one may have about American government get in the way of an opportunity to learn more about another person in an intimate setting. Society has generated a common stereotype about political junkies, pinning them as boring and narrow-minded about hotbed topics.
Unless chatting about the progress (or lack thereof) Congress is making gets you all hot and bothered, is it really worth mentioning it on a first date?
I commonly tend to date individuals who have significantly differing opinions about who and how our nation’s government should be led. So, maybe opposites attract?
News and political projections are claiming that if Millennials come out in full force to vote later this year, we may have a significant sway on who takes over the oval office come early 2017. This tells us one thing for sure: Millennials tend to not give a sh*t about the process of political campaigns and matters.
Politics have long been associated with heated arguments, professional backstabbing, guttural jabs, lying and cheating. First dates tie closely with new opportunities, fresh starts and prospects of long-term love.
The two, when combined, prove inconsistency, and they cancel out one another’s defining qualities. There’s a trend brewing here, right?
Don’t get me wrong; there are plenty of people who find politics to be deal-breakers when they’re choosing a potential new partner.
A 2013 study conducted by Stanford University found that — in the case of reviewing profiles similar to online dating websites — politics had a 3 percent effect on matching individuals, swaying subjects to choose or dispose of other potential partners based on shared political ideas and values.
But I wouldn’t dare strike up a conversation on the matter of political interest or issues, simply because I want to avoid offending my counterpart. Similar to many Gen-Yers, the taste I leave in someone’s mouth after an interaction matters, even if I don’t see a possibility for a future relationship down the line.
Your words and thoughts are reflective of who you are as a person, disregarding the values and opinions that involve America’s executive branch. This doesn’t go to show, though, that those of us who don’t involve ourselves in political matters don’t have opinions as well.
Just as much as I hope not to displease or insult someone whose company I am enjoying for the first time, I hope he or she would feel the same.
But wouldn’t we all agree that we’d rather get a sense of whether or not the person we’re sharing drinks with now is going to ghost us after we f*ck for the first time, as opposed to his or her opinions about Ted Cruz’s campaign platform?
It all goes back to first impressions. Politics should never be included for the sake of everyone’s sanity.
So, when you’re beginning introductory chit chat on the first date before what proves to be a long cuffing season, avoid politics and the happenings of Washington, and maybe just converse about how damn cute Bo and Sunny Obama are.
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