My Proposal Wasn't A Surprise And I Wouldn't Have It Any Other Way
‘Tis the season of engagements. The season where if you so happen to turn on your television, at least three out of seven commercials will be a proposal commercial with a completely shocked woman staring at a blinding diamond ring that her handsome boyfriend is holding on bended knee.
My proposal was different; it was absolutely beautiful and without a doubt the best moment of my life, but it was no surprise.
On my second date with Mr. Right, I told him that I believe at this age if a couple is still together and in love after two years then they should make a commitment.
Mr. Right continued to sip his merlot and we moved on to other conversations.
My friends thought I had just jumped straight out the loony bin when I told them what I had done. They told me “girl, you will scare him away what are you doing?” I did not think I would hear from Mr. Right again, but sure enough he wanted a third date with me and the day before our two-year anniversary he told me he wanted a life with me until death do us part.
Ladies, I implore you to not expect your man to know that you want to get married.
I know the movies tell us to wait patiently until the moment we are blindfolded and driven to Tiffany's and told to “pick one.” Yes that is a reference to one of my favorite rom-coms “Sweet home Alabama.”
If you feel like the two of you should take the next step, there is nothing wrong with discussing that. Before we moved in together, I discussed my hesitations about moving in, in fear that we would get comfortable and never take that next step.
He assured me that we would and I believed him. Of course I still hinted here and there, but I had faith in him.
I know the biggest fear is that if you know he is going to propose then the moment won't be special. Here's why that assumption is wrong and why even though I knew he was going to propose it was the most breath taking moment of my life.
He still planned the proposal.
He took me on a romantic vacation to an all-inclusive resort in Cabo. He put so much effort into making it a memorable vacation and he never had the mantra of “well she knows I'm going to propose so I might as well not plan anything.”
There were elements I did not know about.
For example, he took my parents to lunch, sushi of all places without me, and asked them for their blessing. After we got engaged, they sent me a photo that the three of them took at lunch, but he never told me he was going to take them to lunch.
Side Note: I know a lot of people feel this is antiquated, but both of my parents said it was one of the happiest most precious moments that they will never forget.
I never saw the ring until he proposed.
Technically I saw the diamond because I had given him my grandmother's diamond ring to use and told him to choose a simple setting that he liked.
He went to the jeweler and did his thing and on the night of the proposal when he slid that gorgeous ring on my finger I was truly shocked how beautiful it looked.
I can't even begin to express how meaningful this engagement ring is to me knowing that it not only symbolizes our commitment to each other, but also the great love shared between my grandparents.
Side Note: Ladies don't get caught up in the ring. I know society tells us that the bigger the ring the better the marriage, but please do not buy into one of the biggest scams called the De Beers engagement ring scam.
He chose a random date to pop the question.
I had planned out my engagement outfit perfectly. It was a short black dress with rhinestone sandals and of course I had planned to do my hair and makeup immaculately on the day of our anniversary because I was sure that my predictable then boyfriend was going to propose on our anniversary.
To my surprise, after somehow securing us a table right by the ocean at a fully booked restaurant, he asked me to be his wife as I was chewing on tres leches cake.
The emotions felt will always take you by surprise.
I never thought I could feel the way I did that night. I actually could not tell you a thing he said, but I remember exactly how he looked with tears in his eyes and I remember how I felt.
Nothing can prepare you for how emotional and special that moment is.
The other night I was laying down with my fiancé and I asked him if he liked that I was direct about wanting to get married, and if there was any chance it would have scared him away.
He told me it would have scared him away if I were not the one, and in that case, why would I have wanted to waste my time with him?
Ladies, there is nothing wrong with telling your boyfriend “all I want for Christmas is to get married to you.” You cannot expect him to know how you feel.
A great deal of disappointment can be caused over expecting your partner to read your mind. If you don't want to be so brash, open up the timeline dialogue and ask when he sees the two of you making a commitment.
Lastly, if the two of you are completely comfortable in your relationship and you aren't ready to get married then that's great too.
Every relationship is unique and there is no set timing and no right or wrong. But don't for a minute think that your proposal will be meaningless if you know about it because I can guarantee you it was the most meaningful moment of my life.
I still get butterflies every time he introduces me as his fiancé, and I think back to the most amazing night of my life when I said yes.
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