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The 3 Most Common Reasons Guys Lose Interest And Ghost You, According To A Guy

Imagine having the man you want being head over heels in love with you, so in love that he will never even dream of leaving you.

It would be nice to never have to worry about whether he's going to lose interest and disappear from your life. But unfortunately this is 2017 and we all have the instinct to ghost.

What It Feels Like To Be Ghosted [Disconnected]

Eventually one of these situations will come up, and it is better to be aware of them beforehand. Guys aren't perfect, so don't look into why they feel this way. They don't even know.

So here are the three most common reasons that guys lose interest and disappear.

1. You have too many expectations.

Have you gone into this relationship or budding relationship with a bunch of ideas of what has to happen in the future? Have you decided having children and going out of your way to force him into permanent commitment is what must happen or else you will be heartbroken and disappointed?

Let's examine the destructive nature of this way of thinking. If you have an “agenda” (which you do when you have expectations) it gives off a bad vibe. Men feel this vibe even if you try to hide it.

Expectations also create disappointment. If you build up these ideas of what must happen for you to be happy, you wind up never being happy when these expectations are not met.

So the solution is to drop the expectations and live in the current moment with him. Enjoy the quality of the interaction you have instead of focusing on how things “should be.”


2. You aren't compatible.

What does this mean? Maybe the sexual chemistry is good but as people you're fundamentally different.

This is why you have to create a solid foundation to build your relationship on top of. This sound, solid foundation is compatibility and compatibility is key.

What does compatibility even mean though? It means you like each other for who you are as people. When you examine your core values, they align.

There is a natural quality to your interactions. Nothing forced or uncomfortable. If you feel like you have to be fake to keep him interested, you are most likely trying to make a non-compatible match work.

The best thing you can do is to move on from an incompatible match and instead build the relationship on a healthy foundation.

If you don't start off in the right foot, you cannot expect him to be interested long-term. Eventually, your core differences as people will shine through and the relationship will seem impossible.


3. Things have gotten too “comfortable.”

I am not saying this is your fault or that you are doing something bad. There is nothing wrong with being comfortable with someone.

In fact, being comfortable is essential to have a healthy relationship. This does not mean you have to pee with the door open constantly or walk around without caring about your appearance whatsoever.

I am also not saying to always have on a full face of makeup or to wait to use the bathroom until he is far away.

Just try to maintain a bit of effort. Don't think just because you are in the relationship now that it's time to not care about yourself anymore.

Think about it like this: how did you look and act when you first started dating?

Try to incorporate some of that into present day. I'm not saying prep for hours for every date, just try to keep some of the mystery alive.

Don't forget to be positive and to let yourself be in a good headspace. Just try to be your happiest, best self and you will see that your love life improves.

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Nick Bastion

Contributor

Author, psychology enthusiast & dating coach fascinated with the madness that is love & relationships. Vassar College grad, Psych and English major. Co-founder of Vixendaily.com. Love writing, traveling, movies, rock climbing and photog ...
Author, psychology enthusiast & dating coach fascinated with the madness that is love & relationships. Vassar College grad, Psych and English major. Co-founder of Vixendaily.com. Love writing, traveling, movies, rock climbing and photog ...

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