'Everyone Cheats' Isn't An Excuse: 9 Reasons Why You Should Never Be A Cheater
Humans. We can conceive 3D printers, construct mind-bending buildings and make each other laugh with ridiculous YouTubes. We’ve certainly perfected the art of living, and yet, we still prove to be flawed when it comes to matters of the heart.
When it comes to modern-day relationships, in this newly defined hook-up culture we’ve become more and more accustomed to cheating. “Everyone cheats” is commonly thrown around as a casual acceptance of something that is morally unsound and damagingly cruel.
A 2004 University of Chicago study found that 25 percent of married men have had at least one extramarital affair. And according to a 2007 Journal of Family Psychology study, the chances of infidelity over the course of your entire relationship can be as great as 25 percent.
There are even “dating” websites dedicated to those looking for an affair, like AshleyMadison.com, which has more than 12 million members. For those of us who are enjoying coupled life, or at least hope to someday, this is all very unsettling.
The topic of cheating isn’t a controversial issue we’re willing to laugh off like another Jay Z and Beyoncé joke. It involves real people with real feelings and its consequences can be far more detrimental than ever anticipated.
You’d rather be single than be with someone you’d want to cheat on. Why waste everyone’s time and emotions with someone whom you know you’re inevitably going to hurt? It’s selfish.
We’re not “everyone” and we’re not down with cheating. We believe in everlasting love or at the very least, we respect the people we have loved.
Here are the 9 reasons why we’ll never be cheaters:
1. Respect
The biggest reason we won’t cheat on our partners is that we respect them too much. Regardless if we’re frustrated in the relationship due to lack of sex or attention or otherwise, we still will show consideration to this person’s feelings.
Even if love is now lost, it’s important to remember that, at some point, you truly, wholeheartedly adored this person -- you wouldn’t feel right mistreating him or her.
2. The implications
Even if your partner wronged you and you were provoked to cheat, you still come out looking like the bad guy. There’s no good reason for cheating that doesn’t end in you appearing like a complete asshat.
Furthermore, you will forever wear the cheater label, even if it’s "just that one time."
3. The consequences
Not only is a tremendous amount of embarrassment and shame felt by both sides, but there is also underlying psychological damage that is arguably worse.
According to Psychology Today, people associated with extramarital affairs can undergo depression, domestic violence, divorce and, in extreme cases even, homicide (Looking at you, OJ).
You’ve now incited future trust issues and relationship insecurities in someone who was previously confident; why inflict this kind of trauma on someone whom you once loved?
4. Integrity
It can be extraordinarily hard to tell people who are blindly in love with you that you don’t love them back, but it’s better to say it to their faces than to hurt them with your actions.
Breaking up isn’t easy in the short-term, but it’s better than cheating in the long-term. You don’t want it on your conscience, and you owe it to yourself to stick to your principles.
5. Wedding vows mean something
Wedding vows, especially the last line “do you promise... to be faithful only to them so long as you both shall live?” are extraordinarily powerful.
Agreeing to marriage terms is serious, and it’s your responsibility to live up to these promises.
6. It’s an immature move
Grow up if you think the random man or woman who you’ve met once in a bar is worth cheating on your partner for.
Believing that “there are better people” out there will only lead you to a lifetime of continuously searching and never settling. When you finally mature, you’ll realize that finding one special person is more fulfilling than finding 10 mediocre ones.
7. Living with guilt
Unless you’re the cold-hearted kind of cheater, you’ll be plagued by how badly you damaged another human being.
Just as much as "it’s in our nature to cheat," it’s also in our nature to care about one another and doing the right thing. One eventually trumps the other.
8. They’ll seek revenge
Ever consider how your cuckolded partners will retaliate? They could torture you by forcing you to stay in the relationship, or even worse, they’ll humiliate you on an equal level.
After you cheat on someone, you open yourself to a wide range of revenge attacks and it’s all fair game.
We’ll spread the nude photo you once sent us on Snapchat that we then saved on our hard-drive. We’ll key your car like a Carrie Underwood video.
And assuming we have this level of influence, we’d write a cruel Taylor Swift-style break-up song exposing all your flaws. That’s just on one day.
9. We choose love
We don’t want to be the type of people who get caught up in cheating scandals. We want to marry the person we love, who inspires us and makes us better. And if we keep those goals in mind, there’s no reason to cheat.
Photo Courtesy: AMC/Mad Men
