So Cold: 7 Ways To Successfully Date An Emotionally Unavailable Woman
Gentlemen, you are a part of a new era, the era of the emotionally unavailable woman. These women are fierce; they are the pervasive norm among your 20-something female counterparts. Let's take some time to understand them.
The Millennial woman is different from the women of former generations. We're extremely career-driven, goal-oriented and independent. Since we tend to gear towards this path in life — to make our mark and leave the world with a legacy –, we also are inevitably emotionally unavailable.
We're more interested in our latest project than we are in cuddling. We're more concentrated on our future successes than we are on settling down.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with being emotionally unavailable. In fact, this generation of women is the finest we have ever seen. We've traded our recipe books for iPhones full of networking contacts; we've traded early motherhood for corporations.
We want more out of life than what has been previously allotted. In fact, we want it all. We control our destinies, and this makes us slightly fearsome, but also thoroughly impressive.
The Millennial woman shouldn't be resented, gentlemen, but instead, needs to be embraced and accepted. We want partners, not patrons. We want to achieve substantial goals, not live vicariously through yours.
Women aren't needy; we know who we are, and we're determined to get what we want out of this world. We want meaning. We are our own people, with strong minds and sharp opinions. We're well-educated and deeply contemplative. We embrace our individuality to the fullest extent.
The emotionally unavailable woman can make an excellent partner. We may not be apt to PDA or overly romantic love notes, and we may not be the typical female constantly stereotyped in the media, but we are immensely valuable. We are an upgraded version of the soft and fragile characters we are often so wrongly assigned.
Just because we're career-focused and motivated to become more than a wife and mother, doesn't mean we don't have the ability to fall in love.
In fact, the relationships we can provide are multilayered and unique. We'll challenge you and frustrate you. We'll motivate you and push you to be the best you can be. With the emotionally unavailable woman, you're exchanging normal female roles for atypical, far superior partnerships.
The Millennial male should know what he's getting out of a relationship with the Millennial female and understand the lengthy list of benefits that will come out of these fruitful, yet very different relationships.
This is how to have a successful relationship with an emotionally unavailable female:
Understand that the way we express affection is a bit unorthodox
We like you, but we aren't always so great at showing it. We may say things like, “I don't hate you,” or “You're okay, I guess.” Don't be offended by this; we're just doing our best to say something nice in the unattached ways in which we've conditioned ourselves to function.
The emotionally unavailable woman feels slightly guilty about being affectionate, as if it somehow betrays our feminist ideals. We're also afraid that expressing ourselves fully could put us in a potentially vulnerable position.
Do not expect to come before our careers
This may seem harsh, but rather than be intimidated, take equal pride in your own work. We ladies are motivated, and we'll push you to be the same. We want you to achieve all of the goals you've set yourself, and we want to support you; we also want that support in return.
If you want us to be more accessible, take pride in your work and take a genuine interest in ours. It's sexy to have passion for a career that fulfills you. We see it more as a fifth limb rather than a ball and chain.
Try to remember we're treading in unfamiliar waters
We're going to find it difficult to give in to our hearts because we're always a bit terrified of what we could lose. We're inside our heads. It's not that we don't want to feel happy; it's that we don't want to feel susceptible to what that happiness means.
If this isn't happiness we've created for ourselves, for instance, like a great ad campaign or an intriguing article, we fear the possibility of it being taken away. The emotionally unavailable woman prefers feelings of happiness that she has direct control over.
I'm sorry, guys, but you're going to need to read between the lines
We ladies will feign indifference when we want you to take initiative because, once again, we don't want to be vulnerable. Being direct, by asking a man to stay the night, would open us up to the possibility of rejection.
Rejection is not an option. Even though we have an idea of what we'd like you to do, we're going to proverbially “put the ball in your court” and act like we don't care either way. I'm aware that this is a little unfair to you, gentlemen, but read between the lines.
We tend to focus on your physical attributes
We ladies don't want to jump in the deep end and compliment you on your kindness or profound intellect. By objectifying you, you're less threatening. Sex and good looks make for an easier complement.
Pick your battles when it comes to these situations, fellas. Don't be afraid to stand up for yourself, but remember our positive traits. Calling you a “stud” is our way of being affectionate and cute. At least we noticed those extra hours you put in at the gym.
Do not expect to have a noticeable presence on our social media accounts
We will refuse to change our Facebook relationship status to the drab, mediocre, “In A Relationship” so that our gabby girlfriends can shower it with inconsequential “likes.”
We will also probably not want to post pictures of you and definitely will not tag you. You will exist on Snapchat and in real life situations among the people we trust. How convenient that those Snap photos disappear after 8 seconds?
We are sexually insatiable
We will engage in the bedroom with aggressive gusto. What we lack in emotional availability we promise to make up for with sexual insatiability.
Sorry, guys, but the only time you're going to be “on top” is in the bedroom. This your time to shine, buster!
Photo Courtesy: We Heart It
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