Ex Etiquette: How To Deal With Your Breakup
Everyone has an ex and, thus, is incredibly aware of how difficult it is to navigate the post-breakup waters. No one knows how hard it can be until they are put in that situation themselves.
The worst part of a breakup is when you have an ex whom you have the possibility of running into on a daily basis. How do you deal with that? What things can you do to ease the pain and what are you doing that’s making it worse?
Today we are going to help you by discussing the 10 pieces of etiquette to abide by when dealing with a breakup:
Drum roll please…
1. Wait Before You Try To Be Friends
You just broke up, there is absolutely no way you can immediately “just be friends.” You need a mourning period to reflect on the relationship, so you can (hopefully) move on. After enough time has passed, you can attempt to rekindle your friendship, but until the both of you are over your relationship, it is honestly impossible to be friends.
2. Stop Talking To Your Ex’s Friends
You know those people that you only became friends with because they were your ex's friends? Yeah, try to limit the contact you make with these people. There is honestly no reason to even try and keep up a friendship with them immediately after a breakup. Newsflash: they are not on your side. Their loyalties lie with your ex, so rest assured, anything you say to them will get back to your ex.
3. Unfollow Them On Social Media
Unfriend them and unfollow them; there is no reason to be connected to someone you just ended a relationship with. You no longer need to see their constant status updates or newly tagged or uploaded photos. This is just a painful reminder of your past. It's typical to remove all Facebook tags, but that has to be done in a gradual, discrete manner.
This gives you the appearance that you are not an angry immature person, but just someone who does not want the constant reminders of your past relationships. If you are single and all your recent pictures are with your ex, this doesn't look very good on your part. People will be confused and think you're in a relationship when that is far from the case. Side note — you're allowed to keep the pictures you look good in. Why? Because you look good, but keep these to a minimum.
4. Don't Bad Mouth Them
At one point, your ex was someone you held near and dear to your heart. You do not have the right to talk sh*t about them just because things have ended. We are all guilty of this type of behavior, but it really needs to stop. It only makes you look like an idiot since you were the one who dated that “psycho stalker.”
5. Delete Your Ex’s Relatives’ Numbers
There is no reason to have an ex's parents or sibling's number in your address book any longer. Your relationship is over! You don't want to accidentally butt dial your ex’s sister to have her hear you drunk out at a bar. It's always better to be safe than sorry. Don't wait for an accidental call to make you erase the contacts, do this ASAP.
6. Don't Hook Up With Your Ex’s Close Friends For Revenge
Just don't do this. This makes you look like a desperate and foolish person. Everyone knows your motive for seeking out your ex's BFFs. People think this will enrage their exes, while it may, it will more likely just make them think less of you and make them happy they aren't with you anymore. If your ex broke up with you and you think this tactic is going to get him or her to come running back, well you are sadly mistaken.
7. Don't Admit To Indiscretions
If you cheated on your partner while you were together, there is absolutely NO REASON to admit it now. You may think you want to seek revenge on this person by telling them the worst news they cold possibly hear, but that's an awful idea. What if you decide to get back together in the future? What if you hope to someday become friends? If you let this little bit of information slip, all chances of the aforementioned scenarios are impossible.
8. Don't Purposely Show Up Somewhere Your Ex Will Be
People do this sh*t all the time and honestly it's way too much after an initial breakup. Do not purposely put yourself in an awkward situation that will undoubtedly lead to confrontation. This isn't only awkward for you, it's uncomfortable for all the people around you. You are forcing your friends to choose sides, which is never a good idea.
9. Don't Tell People The Details Of The Breakup
For some reason when you break up with someone, the first question people ask is, “Why?” Honestly this is a personal question and one not to be answered in detail, unless it's to your close friends. No one needs to know the innermost, private details of your relationship and why it ended. The people who are asking you this question don't actually care, they just want to gossip. Don't give into this malicious behavior, if someone asks, simply answer: “It wasn't meant to be.” Chances are the conversation will end there since you obviously aren't going to be forthcoming with any details.
10. Don't Sleep With Them
Don't have sex with your ex immediately following a breakup. All this will do is cause both of you confusion and further heartache. Of course, this may seem enticing and familiar, but don't make the fatal error of believing you are rekindling the relationship just because you had sex again.