The Rules Of Car Sex

The Rules Of Car Sex
Sex
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

The accessible but fantastical automobile has to be on almost everyone’s bucket list of locations to get have sex.  Whether you own Ferrari 458 or Fiat, the allure of this sexual destination is ingrained in your mind from countless portrayals in the media. Although intercourse on an automobile is a lot less risky than sex on a moving airplane, a car has to be one of the most exciting places to have sex.

It’s hot, passionate, and extremely steamy; your heart races with excitement and the windows begin to resemble a gym sauna. The fact that you’re having sex while worrying about being interrupted by an authority figure makes the encounter that much edgier.

No one beyond the age of 21 should be a novice in the art of car sex; here are the ten tips you should know whether you’re a rookie or a veteran.

 Click play to start slideshow

Elite.

  • 10. Stay Away From Leather Seats

    You thought rug burns were bad? You’ve simply endured an uncomfortable nuisance until you’ve experienced leather burn.   Revered as some of the worst painful burns one can fall victim to, they will meance you and your partner with burdensome pain for an extended amount of time.   If your only option available is leather seats, be sure to put a towel or blanket down. There is no such a thing as gentle lovemaking in a car; trust us.

  • 9. Have The Quickie Mentality

    The fact that you’ve avoided being caught in the act thus far does not mean you should become complacent and lackadaisical.   This act is always a high-risk venture; can you imagine the embarrassment? While you consider this a harmless sexual encounter, that prosecutor won’t be as understanding.   The fact remains that it is highly illegal, and there is nothing worse than getting caught with your pants down.   It is important to approach this act with the quickie mentality; stay focused. You're in an automobile, not a bed, so leave your clothes on when you get down to business.   Keep enough clothes on just in case someone does interrupt you. By taking this small precautionary measure provide yourself the clever retort that you were simply getting dressed with your lover.   If that doesn’t work, you could always play it off as simply making out. Nonetheless keep it quick, there truly is no time for foreplay and romantic gestures in the car.

  • 8. Keep It In The Backseat

    Space is limited in the two front seats of an automobile, that is why it is best to keep your misdeeds covert and in the back seats.   In the back you have plenty of room to switch positions with no worry of shifting gears or accidentally pressing any buttons.   If such an event does occur, then blue balls will be the last of your worries. Push the front two seats all the way up and go to work.

  • 7. Music

    The same rules for music in the bedroom apply to the car as well. Your lover will feel absolutely foolish getting it on to "Lollipop" by Lil Wayne.   Stick to slow and steady music like Trey Songz or Florence & The Machine.   Don't keep it too loud, as you don’t want to attract attention to yourself; a medium level is just right.

  • 6. Night time only

    You may be inclined to try to pull this stunt off during the day, but your safest bet is to do it at night in an area with very little traffic.   Be sure to turn all lights off and shut the engine down as well.   The windows will fog up instantly, but no one will be able to see what’s going on inside. The goal here is remain unnoticed by any passers by.

  • 5. Clean up right away

    This one is pretty self-explanatory and should be mandatory.   The last thing you want is to stain your seats with love juices that end up being irremovable, embarrassing reminders of the encounter..   After finishing this quickie, you should have wipes readily accessible to clean up the damage.

  • 4. Orgasm Carefully

    We know sometimes the pleasure is so intense that you lose control, but in this case it would be prudent to be careful.   The last thing you want is to smash one of your windows from spastically hitting the window too hard.   Even worse, you might put the car into drive or reverse. Keep it under control.

  • 3. Crack a window

    It seems even 3 minutes in the back seat can have your vehicle’s windows looking like an Equinox sauna.   It’s best to crack a window slightly open for ventilation to avoid the obvious sign of intensely foggy windows.

  • 2. Location, Location, Location.

    It is almost impossible to find a private place in a public area.   Don't try and pull this off in a frequently patrolled neighborhood unless you want to be arrested and have an audience.   The streets with very few streetlights or dead-ends are your target areas.   Parking lots are dangerous but if you really must then go for it just keep your head down.

  • 1. Have an alibi

    Before engaging in this act, it’s likely you have already quickly pondered all of the possible consequences for your actions and have decided the reward is worth the high risk.   However, there’s a high probability that you will get caught at least once. If you do get caught by an officer, be sure to have an excuse.   The best option is to claim you were not actually having sex. If you still have all of your clothes on, you could play this off as a PG-13 encounter with ease.

Share Tweet
React

Preston Waters

Preston Waters is a thinker. He's not your traditional philosophical persona, however, as he leaves no topic untouched. Covering all the bases, from business to women, Preston Waters is the ultimate man's man for Gen-Y.

More In Sex

Sex Paul Hudson

The Torture Of Loving A Person Who Doesn’t Love You Back

The first woman I ever fell in love with didn’t feel the same way about me. This wasn’t some sort of crush either. I really did fall in love and she really didn’t care for me that much. Sure, we would see each other pretty regularly. She was happy to see me, but not exactly […]

Sex Bridget Boland

Is It Time To Call It Quits? When To Know A Relationship Is Over

We are the generation twice removed from the Cleavers; the aftermath of the rise in divorce rates. We have seen all kinds of relationships modeled for us. In some ways, this transparency of what happens in other marriages is helpful, but it also creates uncertainties when trying to create our own. Being a member of Gen-Y can feel like you […]

Sex Paul Hudson

Why Being Loved Is Not The Same As Being Understood

Most people are looking for that one person whom they can love and who can love them – that one person who will be there for them, care for them and understand them. Being understood is often confused with being loved; the two aren’t the same. Most people assume that those whom they love, they […]

Sex Audrey Swanson

The 11 Things You Learn From Being The Only Single Friend

Maybe you’ve glanced around recently and found yourself as the only person in your friend group not frolicking into a new romantic venture. It’s like spring is the season of new boyfriends or something. Trust me, being the single friend is not as bad as everyone makes it out to be. It just means your […]

Also On Elite

Humor

Hilarious Video Shows The Annoying Hipsters That Every Barista Has To Deal With

The very nature of coffee shops makes them a natural breeding ground for hipsters. Their product is cheap yet trendy, they offer free WiFi so you can work on your network pilot and, most importantly, a cup of coffee from a place called anything but Starbucks can be a fantastic conversation starter (topics can include […]

Wellness

If You Want To Change Your Life You Have To Change Your Friends First

Changing your life can only start with changing your reality – changing the way you perceive the world. The common mistake is to think that changing your location, your job, your car, your clothes, and a bunch of other material things is enough to make a change for the better. The fact is, it’s not. […]

Women

The 10 Signs You Are Ready To Be Single And Proud Of It

Prefer listening to your headphones instead of someone else talking? Are your cell phone and a steady job the only things you want to hold? Congratulations lady, you should be single and proud! You don’t need someone else to tell you your outfit is too revealing — you’ve got a mirror for that! You don’t […]