The 14 Most Miserable Things About Valentine’s Day

The 14 Most Miserable Things About Valentine’s Day
Sex •

The 14 Most Miserable Things About Valentine’s Day

There is no day of the year that every man dreads more than Valentine’s Day. Sure getting pussy is cool and all, but the amount of work and sacrifice that is required can be quite the soul-defeating endeavor.

Playing this charade of “love” is not good for the male ego as we are reduced to rubbish by day’s end. From the flowers, to the chocolates, to the dinner and the movie, it is all too much for us to bear.

Look ladies, we’re just trying to smash! These are the 14 most miserable things about Valentine’s Day.

Eddie Cuffin | Elite.

  • 14. You have to pretend you care.

  • 13. You have to pick out a corny Hallmark card.

  • 12. You have to make expensive dinner reservations.

  • 11. The cost of that dinner doesn't match the quality of sex.

  • 10. You are subjected to an uninspired blowjob.

  • 9. Threesomes are virtually impossible.

  • 8. You have to watch shitty movies like The Notebook.

  • 7. Your girlfriend gets to be a bitch for the day.

  • 6. You then realize how retarded your girlfriend is.

  • 5. You have to look at bunch of pictures of flowers on Instagram.

  • 4. You are forced to see everyone on Twitter and Facebook cuffing.

  • 3. You can't bang your side chick.

  • 2. You have to act like a pussy.

  • 1. You have to eat pussy.

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