An Open Letter To All The Men Who Have Given Up Hope Of Finding Love

Dear Jaded Straight Men,

I know many women have failed you. I know your heart has endured a lot of stomping, your pride has been shattered, your trust has been compromised and your spirit has been abused. But, you’re not alone — in fact, many women have been in your shoes.

It’s so easy to get frustrated, to call all women whores then chug a beer and stumble out the door for a night of debauchery. That’ll show them, right? Nope, that’s not going to prove anything except that you’re too drunk and too obnoxious to be in public.

You must understand that women do not exist solely for sex. By only worrying about why she won’t sleep with you, you’re missing the point entirely — just because a woman got dressed and went out to a bar does not mean that she is out for sex. It’s shameful for you to believe that women go out with the intention of going home with you. Stop immediately and adjust your mentality.

Men, I know you don’t all think and act this way, but when you partake in conversations with friends who do think this way, you must stop excusing their ideas. What happened to simply getting to know someone? Are we so deeply immersed in hookup culture that we no longer feel the need to have conversations? When was the last time you took a girl on a date and courted her? When was the last time you made a real effort with a woman? When was the last time you proved yourself to be a catch?

So what if you’ve been hurt in the past? It’s rare to find someone who has never been scorned in a relationship. Stop projecting your past onto your present and future. Just because there was a woman who violated your trust does not mean the random woman sitting next to you will do the same thing. That girl you foolishly gave up pursuing for no reason may not be around when you finally open your eyes and heart after sleepwalking your life away.

Stop letting your teenage girlfriend dictate your inability to take a chance on anyone in your present. Stop letting your college girlfriend who cheated on you handicap your romantic future. Relationships aren’t easy, but when they’re right, they’re worth it.

Life is too short to spend so much time playing games. The more games you play, the more you cheat yourself from the potential of true happiness. As long as you fail to be honest with yourself, you will continue to run into problems with potential partners.

If you miss her, call her and let her know. If you want to get to know her better, ask her out. Ask her to spend time with you during the day — you know, like when the sun is still out and you’re sober. If that girl at the bar is someone you’re interested in dating, ask for her number. Take her home if there is a mutual interest. But remember that she is a human being who has likely been hurt and had her heart stomped on — just like you. Treat her honorably. Be honest.

Sincerely,

A Woman You Haven’t Met

Photo via We Heart It