Relationships

The Divorce Generation

by Sean Levinson

Generation Y has a more negatively skewed perspective towards marriage and long term relationships than any generation that came before it. We have a hard time believing in the idea of two people being happy together for longer than two years because we have seen countless partnerships that were seemingly destined for greatness fail before our eyes.

Our baby boomer parents seem to be divorcing left and right, and the rate of infidelity among parents seems to be more common now that it's becoming one of the only known ways to survive a miserable marriage. All young adults love the idea of being single and try to make this carefree stage of their lives last a long as they possibly can, because there's a chance life will slowly go downhill once marriage or commitment is brought into the picture.

For Generation Y, however, this doesn't feel like a chance, it feels more like a certainty. There's something wrong with virtually every marriage or long term relationship we are familiar with, and this unbelievably pessimistic view point has forever changed the way we look at marriage, commitment, and the opposite sex in general.

We have seen people in long term relationships show what being with the same person for an extended period of time does to your mind. The sadness, frustration and slave-like tendencies have been taught to us just as much as the the ''happily ever after" fairy tales from our childhood.

We've seen even the happiest, most carefree seeming relationships and marriages end in pure hatred for one another. We have come to believe that if you become involved with someone for a long time, you will develop a sort of allergy to their personality, to the point in which their very presence will begin to bring you anger and disgust.

Entering a long term relationship means becoming a different person, someone who we don't want to turn into but must in fact become because it's the only kind of person who will be able to deal with what's ahead of us. What's ahead of us is an exposure not only to how someone else's mind works, but to how ultimately dissatisfied we are with what we find.

Men and women have always clashed with each other, as it is natural for the two sexes to develop feelings of animosity towards each other after really getting to know what the other person is like. This is what we as a generation have concluded, since virtually every kind of couple, or combination of personalities, seems to ultimately combust when they get really close to each other.

With all of these first-hand witnesses of failure considered, are we the first generation to come across such an overwhelming amount of evidence supporting the incompatibility of the opposite sex? If long term relationships have been around since the beginning of time, why are people just starting to show their reactions to the realization of how much they can't stand their partner right now, more than ever?

I think that the reason we have seen so many people display their unhappiness with divorce or verbal conflict is because humanity has finally had enough. Our parents' generation is the first of which to be okay with truly voicing how they feel about each other and not being ashamed to say that believe it or not, love can be erased.

I guess every other era was made up of people who were so heavily raised and therefore enveloped by the sanctity of marriage and everlasting love that choosing to speak their minds about how torturous it is to be in someone else's company for such a long time was not common enough to be understood or taken seriously.

Now that society has finally comes to terms with the sad truth about relationships, the freedom to let loose about your own unhappiness has caught on in household after household and relationship after relationship.  This hurricane of dissatisfaction is what Generation Y has been exposed to, and now that we are aware of what relationships lead to, will we go down the same path?

I believe the answer is no. We have seen too many sad people who regret staying with their partner that the evidence is too abundant to overcome how truly "in love' we think we are with someone. The worst part is, the people who see end their relationships don't emerge as a happier, optimistic people.

A long term relationship or marriage ends with two people never truly feeling like the person they were before the relationship began. They come out of the relationship having a much more bleak view of the opposite sex along with various issues pertaining to trust and being opened with somebody. They are sad that they missed out on having all the fun that comes with being a free spirited human being. They are weaker, more pessimistic and shell shocked by the up close look at the inside of the human mind they received.

So, why would we want to engage in something that we know will only make our lives miserable both during its course and after it is through? Maybe we'll heed the advice and not get married, just stay single and hope that every one else has gotten the same memo. It's the never ending battle society has dealt with for hundreds of years, tradition versus reality, with documented evidence always trying to lend a helping hand. The effect will be great and the world may never be the same because once again, evolution is upon us all.

Elite.