Why Being Friends With Benefits Will Usually Turn Into Something More
When it comes to being “friends with benefits,” rarely is only friendship and sex involved.
Sex alone is a pretty intimate thing. Friendship is a pretty intimate thing. And the more time you spend with someone, the closer you'll inevitably become.
Put all of this together, and it's very likely you'll end up with myriad of feelings (romantic ones included) — even if you don't want to feel them.
So obviously, if you're really trying to just be friends with benefits, you'll need to be totally upfront with your hookup pal about what you want.
That way, you can avoid hurt feelings or, even worse, lost friendships.
But sometimes, even though you think you just want to be friends, you might subconsciously be looking for something more.
In this episode of “Disconnected,” two friends who are both trying to heal from previous relationships start sleeping with each other. For a while.
What happens next is bound to happen when you're seeking comfort from someone while also sleeping with them.
If you start looking for comfort AND sex from the same person, those feelings you were trying to avoid in the whole “friends with benefits” relationship will undoubtedly creep up on you.
And that's where things can get complicated.
If you're still set on hooking up with each other, the best thing to do (in most cases) is to simply let things happen and try not to control the situation.
You might catch feelings for the person, no matter how hard you try not to, and you just have to be open to that.
Although it may seem counterintuitive, some of the best relationships actually do start this way. It might even feel more natural and less forced since you're already comfortable with each other.
So forget your rules about how relationships should start, enjoy the company of another person and let things progress naturally, whether you're looking for something more serious or not.
Ultimately, you'll be a lot happier when you give up trying to control your feelings.