With each passing day, we see the institution of marriage becoming a distant memory. Men and women alike are so caught up in the party lifestyle that they’re forgetting their future spouses might not went to settle down with people who have such sordid histories.
In the technological age, with social networking sites tracking and documenting our every move, we’re all screwed and most likely never getting married. Though there may be hope for some, the ladies I choose to focus on today are the least likely to say “I do,” whether it’s because they don’t want to or they can’t find someone. This isn’t meant to be slut-shaming, just some cold, hard truth: These are the women who are never getting married.
The Coke Fiend
The title alone should be self-explanatory. Yes, you’re beautiful and a size zero but that’s because you only drink Diet Coke, Grey Goose, and snort cocaine. You frequent clubs in the hopes that you’ll find a table of wealthy young businessmen willing to let you have as much of their drugs as possible, as long as you give them something in return.
This girl may get married, but she’s guaranteed to be cheated on and used as an accessory. Statistically, those who work in industries that are based around self-image are f*cking insane. These girls are emotionally unstable, probably suffer from some sort of eating disorder, and are willing to do anything to get jobs or keep their size 0 figure.
The EDM Girl
This f*cking girl. This girl could actually fall under the “coke” category because she also pimps herself out for drugs. She doesn’t actually care about EDM, she just cares about buying neon colored sports bras and booty shorts, covering her body in glitter, rolling face and sucking on lollipops.
The Video Vixen
If you’ve ever seen Tyga’s music video for the song “Make It Nasty,” you know exactly who I’m talking about. This girl is professionally slutty. We don’t even know what this girl’s face looks like because her ass is always on screen.
This girl just thinks that she walks on water. She’s that girl who walks around with her iPhone in one hand, her Louis Vuitton Never Full in the other, talking about how daddy gives her everything and scoffing when someone asks her if she can take care of herself in any capacity.
This is the girl whose most frequently used sentence is: “Oh my God, this is so not like me, I never do this.” Really though? Because we all know you do. You do it all the time and I can see right through your thinly veiled attempt to make me think that you’re actually respectable.
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