Throughout the journey of life it is highly unlikely that you will remain with the same person for an extended period. In short, we all have exs; some that were little flings whom we truly don’t care about, and others whom we have had an extremely hard time getting over. It truly happens to the best of us. It’s rarely a quick and easy process, since all the things that the two of you still have in common, like friends, favorite hangouts and even living quarters often complicate the process of cutting ties.
As we all know, it is rather difficult to simply bury all the memories you have created with a loved one. To expedite this process, we have put together a list of things to do that should help you get over your ex as quickly as possible.
Take her off that pedestal
To begin, it’s best to stop thinking that this is the only person you were meant to be with. This individual wasn’t perfect, and that’s why you two broke up. If we can be brutally honest, this individual probably wasn’t even close to perfect. Think of all the annoying things she would do and everything you really hated about this person. Have a session with your friends where you simply badmouth your ex incessantly. Do whatever you have to do to make yourself hate her.
If you’re going to end this thing, make sure you end it officially; there is no going back now. Make sure both of you are on the same page and understand that this is not just a “break”, but a break up. The two of you are moving on, so it’s best that both parties understand that as well as know the road will be a bit lonely.
No contact what so ever
This is quite possibly the most important step of the breakup. Delete her phone number out of your phonebook, block her on Facebook, untag yourself from all the pictures of you two together, delete her email out of your contacts and unfollow her on Twitter. Just go cold. Being friends after a breakup never ever works out, so don’t even try it. It’s best to just erase her from your life so that nothing can remind you. By staying in touch with old flames, you’re asking for months (if not years) of on-again-off-again uncertainty.
Avoid the friends and common hang out places
The first step of this one is to go as far as even deleting her friends on Facebook as well. The last thing you want to see is photos of your ex being a complete and absolute whore popping up on her friend’s walls and you being the unfortunate witness to them all. Avoid the mutual hang out spots that you know she will most likely be at. The last thing you want to do is to bump into her, especially if she’s hanging out with someone else.
Focus your mind on something else
Pick up a new hobby, sport or even a book. Anything that will get your mind off of things and will require your focus on something else. This is another one of the most crucial steps. You’re going to need to take your mind off of things and refocus your energy; a new hobby or sport will help immensely. Use the breakup as motivation; it’ll make you work even harder.
Throw away anything that reminds you of them
The collage of pictures that you have or the birthday cards she gave you; it’s best to just get rid of them so you don’t relapse. Throw it all away. The sooner you get that stuff out of your place, the sooner you’ll get over her. If you’re keeping something behind because you feel it has sentimental value, you’re absolutely wrong and you’re in for a very long road.
Don’t try to get your stuff back
You’re most likely never going to get your stuff back from an ex; you’re better off not even putting yourself through that argument. The resulting fights aren’t worth it, so just let it be. Despite whatever you managed to leave at her place, just cut your losses and consider it gone. The fight will be miserable.
Hang out with your friends
As we all know, one of the things we sacrifice during a relationship is spending time with close friends. Girlfriends and boyfriends are notorious time bandits, always greedy for more and more attention. However, now that you’re single, you can reconnect with your old friends and catch up on what you missed out on.
Exercise your newfound freedom
Relationships are about compromise. Being single should be about doing whatever you want to do. Look, you’ve ditched the ball and chain. You’re free. So stay out until four in the morning, hop on a plane to Vegas with your friends, or do whatever makes you happy. Taking pleasure in all of those things that you couldn’t do when you were in a relationship is a great way to get over your ex.
Remember the bad times
The last thing you want to do is to relapse at this point. Thus, you must make yourself forget about all the good times you have had with your significant other and only remember the terrible and miserable times; this way you don’t get depressed and relapse.
Sleep with someone else
Now we’re not saying to go be a whore and spite your ex, because that’s only going to make things worse. However, you should find someone you have found interesting and hang out with her for a bit. Before you rush into a relationship, just sleep with her and live the single life a bit. Again, whoring yourself out will make it worse; don’t try to win a battle of pride.
Bonus: Make sure your next girlfriend is an upgrade
One last thing you want to be certain of is that your love life is moving in the right direction. If your rebound girlfriend or boyfriend is a train wreck, you could end up moving backward and reconnecting with your ex, only to waste another year or two of your life on a relationship that’s doomed to fail. So be sure that your next girlfriend is an upgrade.