In most cases things won’t go past the third date (a.k.a. the first bang), but if they do, even if the relationship goes on for long enough for the pair to fall in love, the couple is still not out of the danger zone. You are never out of the danger zone.
In fact, the closer you get to a person, the more dangerous things get; the more comfortable you get with someone, the more you will open yourself up to them. Assuming that you have a somewhat healthy relationship, your partner will also be opening up to you. All of a sudden you feel comfortable enough to walk around naked in front of them midday.
You no longer feel like you need to hide the fact that you like to eat in bed and she no longer minds you seeing her first thing in the morning before she has a chance to put her face back on. You are now truly beginning to get to know each other.
Usually by this point you have found out enough about the other person to thank your lucky stars that you’re not carrying his baby; because that would make running for your life that much more difficult.
But maybe, just maybe, you found his unique behavior quirky — maybe even cute. So you fall in love. If you think that you are now out of the danger zone, then you must have never been in love, or you have yet to have your heart broken. Not to worry, there is plenty of time for that.
The only way for a person to fall in love with another fully is for him to completely drop his guard and let go of all defenses. You want the person you love to love you for who you are, so you feel the need to show them who you really are; you want to show them all of you. And this is where things get messy.
You start to share too much. The fact of the matter is: you don’t need to know everything about your partner; you will be much better off not knowing everything about them. I can only speak for myself, but I have no reason to want to know whether my girlfriend wipes her ass with her left hand or her right hand.
In fact, I would rather pretend that she doesn’t even use the bathroom. Having lady problems? That sucks — I don’t need to know the details. Go see a doctor; I’m sure they make a cream for that.
No you cannot use the bathroom while I am taking a shower and no I don’t want to check if it smells funny to me. In my mind, you are perfect and I would like to keep you that way. Sharing is not caring; it’s learning disgusting information about the other person that you end up wishing you didn’t know. The worst part is, all the mystery disappears.
You no longer want to learn more about your partner because you feel like you already know all that there is to know about them. You get bored. You start to question your feelings for the person and eventually you part ways. While there aren’t any statistics on the matter, I believe that this is one of the most prominent relationship killers on the planet.
So why torture yourself with knowledge that you wish you didn’t have and destroy a relationship that was once filled with excitement and passion? Think about this: if you really want to find someone to spend the rest of your life with, and let’s assume that you plan on living for quite some time, why in the world would you want to know all that there is to know about them within the first 5 years?
What the hell are you going to talk about for the remaining 45? Keep your most private moments to yourself. If it’s something that you believe you could live without knowing, chances are that your partner feels the same way. Being in love makes you crave knowledge about your lover — restrain yourself. Too much knowledge will ruin what you have. The truth is, ignorance is bliss.
Paul Hudson | Elite.
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