My entire life, I have been told that the most effective means of getting what I want is to work hard for it. When I see something I want, I go after it. Interest sparks desire. Desire sparks action. That’s only the natural human reaction, right? Could it be that when it comes to love, the most effective way to get what you want is to sit back and put in minimal effort?
Playing hard to get. Despite common beliefs, it is a phrase that applies to not only women, but men also. It may seem like an amateur way to venture into the world of dating and romance, but really, playing hard to get has been proven to be the best, and maybe the only, way to get what you want. Everyone wants what they can’t have in this life: the car, the job, the bills, the lover.
It seems as though when something is out of our reach, or unable to attain because of some circumstance, our desire to have it only grows stronger. This phenomenon might be the cause for all incidents of infidelity, as when an individual feels tied down to a partner, the desire to feel a sense of freedom quickly turns into a need that absolutely must be satisfied. The result? Seeking out another individual to give you that sense of domination and freedom back.
What does playing hard to get mean? Acting uninterested is the most blatant explanation. Minimal levels of communication and avoiding any signal sent translates the impression that you are desirable, yet not easily had. The expression of disinterest builds onto the idea of “wanting what you can’t have.”
If a potential hook up is under the impression that you don’t want them, their desire for you only grows stronger. In the case that we truly aren’t interested, we kind of dig ourselves into an even deeper hole. When we are interested, we build up the anticipation and eventually give in to enjoy the long-awaited result of game playing.
Why do we play hard to get? Playing hard to get not only builds up the desire of a potential hook up, but it also tests that prospect’s ability to invest their time, effort and motivation to the pursuit of you. It’s a turn on, which makes you more interested in what they might have to offer, and it also gives a little insight into just how badly they’re willing to work for you. The harder they work, the better partner they’ll be.
There is no doubt that women play hard to get, and more often than not, they receive the great benefits of the game, where they are essentially pushing away the prospect. However, does playing hard to get work equally as well for men? Maybe not. While every human being wants what they can’t have, women are more likely to give up on a prospect that sends signs of disinterest. Women are more afraid of rejection than men. When a man plays hard to get, the woman is likely going to act uninterested herself and run in the opposite direction to avoid the dreaded ball of emotions she will become post-rejection.
Although playing hard to get has connections with the phenomenon of wanting what you can’t have, some might argue that it is absolutely not the way to get what you want. These people might wonder, why not be open and upfront about what you’re feeling? On that same note, if you like someone, let them know it. Honesty and communication is, after all, the key to a successful relationship, so why not start it out that way? This opposing argument has also been proven to benefit not just one, but both people involved in a relationship.
Those in favor of this side of the argument believe that playing hard to get is nothing but a drawn out, long and annoying process that postpones what could be, or even the inevitable for that matter. If you’re truly interested in a prospect, why not express it? Playing hard to get can be perceived as flaky and extremely annoying.
You don’t have the ‘time’ to respond to a text message? That can easily be viewed as rudeness, which equates you with a poor character and results in the opposite of what you were going for. Conveying a demeanor that reflects being highly desired and difficult to have obviously comes off as uninterested, and can therefore, generate disinterest in and turn off your pursuer.
So, we wonder, is love a game to be treated as so? Should we play hard to get in order to get exactly what we want? Or, should we be upfront about what we want? Does authenticity and expression of emotion benefit us more than keeping our true feelings under wraps? What do you find to be the most beneficial? The only way to figure it out is to test it out. Let the games begin.
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