Is Playing Hard To Get The Only Way To Get What You Want?

Is Playing Hard To Get The Only Way To Get What You Want?
Sex
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

My entire life, I have been told that the most effective means of getting what I want is to work hard for it. When I see something I want, I go after it. Interest sparks desire. Desire sparks action. That’s only the natural human reaction, right? Could it be that when it comes to love, the most effective way to get what you want is to sit back and put in minimal effort?

Playing hard to get. Despite common beliefs, it is a phrase that applies to not only women, but men also. It may seem like an amateur way to venture into the world of dating and romance, but really, playing hard to get has been proven to be the best, and maybe the only, way to get what you want. Everyone wants what they can’t have in this life: the car, the job, the bills, the lover.

It seems as though when something is out of our reach, or unable to attain because of some circumstance, our desire to have it only grows stronger. This phenomenon might be the cause for all incidents of infidelity, as when an individual feels tied down to a partner, the desire to feel a sense of freedom quickly turns into a need that absolutely must be satisfied. The result? Seeking out another individual to give you that sense of domination and freedom back.

tumblr_me98o6J9tL1qd6wl0o1_500

What does playing hard to get mean? Acting uninterested is the most blatant explanation. Minimal levels of communication and avoiding any signal sent translates the impression that you are desirable, yet not easily had. The expression of disinterest builds onto the idea of “wanting what you can’t have.”

If a potential hook up is under the impression that you don’t want them, their desire for you only grows stronger. In the case that we truly aren’t interested, we kind of dig ourselves into an even deeper hole. When we are interested, we build up the anticipation and eventually give in to enjoy the long-awaited result of game playing.

Why do we play hard to get? Playing hard to get not only builds up the desire of a potential hook up, but it also tests that prospect’s ability to invest their time, effort and motivation to the pursuit of you. It’s a turn on, which makes you more interested in what they might have to offer, and it also gives a little insight into just how badly they’re willing to work for you. The harder they work, the better partner they’ll be.

tumblr_lvk8iiw3rj1r35xieo1_500

There is no doubt that women play hard to get, and more often than not, they receive the great benefits of the game, where they are essentially pushing away the prospect. However, does playing hard to get work equally as well for men? Maybe not. While every human being wants what they can’t have, women are more likely to give up on a prospect that sends signs of disinterest. Women are more afraid of rejection than men. When a man plays hard to get, the woman is likely going to act uninterested herself and run in the opposite direction to avoid the dreaded ball of emotions she will become post-rejection.

Although playing hard to get has connections with the phenomenon of wanting what you can’t have, some might argue that it is absolutely not the way to get what you want. These people might wonder, why not be open and upfront about what you’re feeling? On that same note, if you like someone, let them know it. Honesty and communication is, after all, the key to a successful relationship, so why not start it out that way? This opposing argument has also been proven to benefit not just one, but both people involved in a relationship.

Those in favor of this side of the argument believe that playing hard to get is nothing but a drawn out, long and annoying process that postpones what could be, or even the inevitable for that matter. If you’re truly interested in a prospect, why not express it? Playing hard to get can be perceived as flaky and extremely annoying.

tumblr_mp0l09kX3n1rum7cgo1_400

You don’t have the ‘time’ to respond to a text message? That can easily be viewed as rudeness, which equates you with a poor character and results in the opposite of what you were going for. Conveying a demeanor that reflects being highly desired and difficult to have obviously comes off as uninterested, and can therefore, generate disinterest in and turn off your pursuer.

So, we wonder, is love a game to be treated as so? Should we play hard to get in order to get exactly what we want? Or, should we be upfront about what we want? Does authenticity and expression of emotion benefit us more than keeping our true feelings under wraps? What do you find to be the most beneficial? The only way to figure it out is to test it out. Let the games begin.

Photos via Tumblr 

Share Tweet
React
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Kendall Wood

Kendall Wood is a Senior Copy Editor at Elite Daily, the leading online voice for Generation-Y and Millennials. Upon graduating from Pennsylvania State University with a bachelor’s degree in Public Relations/Advertising, Kendall immediately began working as a writer for Elite Daily. After establishing a voice on the site and a short stint managing social media, she dove into the role of Senior Copy Editor, with a main focus on the Contributing Content division of the site. Outside of Elite Daily, Kendall’s passion for all things food reigns supreme, evident through her love of cooking and goal to experience the many dining establishments NYC has to offer. She also finds herself drawn to the entertainment world, always in-the-know on the latest news and celebrity gossip. Born in Baltimore, MD, Kendall currently resides in New Jersey and feels happiest when she’s with friends and family, making people laugh and eating -- simultaneously.

More In Sex

Sex Paul Hudson

12 Things We Can All Start Doing To Get Rid Of The Hook-Up Culture

I was once the frontrunner of the hook-up culture our generation has created. OK, I may be exaggerating a bit, but when you stop counting how many people you’ve slept with – or lose count – it’s probably a sign that you’re stuck in the pointless cycle that is our hook-up culture. Sure, sex is […]

Sex Dan Scotti

Fake It ‘Til You Make It: Why So Many Men Are Admitting To Faking Orgasms

I, personally, have never faked an orgasm while in between the sheets. The way I see it, engaging in intercourse and not finishing lacks as much motivation as smoking “a certain substance” without inhaling (cough, Bill Clinton, ahem). But, hey – just because I haven’t done something certainly doesn’t mean it’s never been done before. […]

Also On Elite

Dating

4 Signs You’ve Settled For Someone Who Is Less Than You Deserve

It was about seven months ago when Lily and I had a sudden realization. A lot of girls we knew were in relationships, and while we complained plenty about being single, it dawned on us: We wouldn’t trade places with any one of them. Let’s make a pact, I said. We will not let each […]

Women

Christian Louboutin Is Turning His Signature Red Into A Nail Polish

In his conquest to adorn all the human phalanges, Christian Louboutin is expanding his luxury empire to include a new line of nail polishes. For those who can’t afford his expensive, thousand dollar shoes, congratulations! At $50 a bottle, you won’t be able to afford these nail polishes either! You can totally rationalize your purchase, […]

Sports

These 7 Facts Prove Just How Insane Germany’s Historic First Half Against Brazil Is

Germany’s sensational first-half performance during their World Cup semifinal match against Brazil had the power to leave fans breathless. For some, there truly are no words to describe how shocking the 5-0 lead they took over the host nation was. Arguably, the only accurate description for how monumental the Germans’ big first half was could […]