Why Getting Laid On New Year’s Is Easier Than You Think

Why Getting Laid On New Year’s Is Easier Than You Think
Sex
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

While getting laid is easy- getting laid on New Year’s Eve honestly could not be any easier. Actually- let me rephrase that; if you can’t get laid on New Years then there has to be something wrong with you.

Maybe missing an eye, or a leg? Fuck that- even a peg legged pirate could get his parrot played with on New Years. This year especially is the New Years to cash in on some no strings attached, shame me and my mother, Tantric loving.

With YOLO being everyone’s motto of choice and Champagne Showers being everyone’s go-to face wash, fucking til the Honeymooner’s marathon is over is this year’s best way to roll down the night.

Why Getting Laid On New Year's Is Easier Than You Think

Why exactly is it that New Year’s Eve is such a magical night? Everyone realizes one of two things: Either you realize that you wasted the last year of your life and you now NEED to make a change (New Years being the perfect symbol), or you realize how great your last year was, how hard you worked and how much you deserve to get drunk and pounded.

I’m talking about girls specifically, mainly because guys are down to fuck no matter what day of the year it is. We’ll pretend we celebrate Festivus if there’s a quirky girl looking like she owns a whip and some body oils.

It is the one mystical night of the year where being a slut is not only acceptable, it’s expected. If you don’t manage to stick your tongue down at least 3 peoples’ throats between midnight and 12:30- you’re at the wrong party. Yes ladies, you heard right- random sex is a requirement to a happy and successful New Year’s Eve.

Why Getting Laid On New Year's Is Easier Than You Think

If you don’t wake up in a room with 5 naked girls and 3 naked guys- again- you went to the wrong party. Remember… YOLO. That’s right- not YOLT; YOLO.

In all seriousness, New Year’s Eve is a great time to let loose, be your true self- or even better- be someone completely different. Because once you wake up at 5pm the next day (hopefully to some morning head- fingers crossed) the last year is officially over; you have a clean slate.

You can go back to being the same old boring you, or you can be the exciting life of the party you were just 16 hours ago. The beauty of it is, just about no one will remember.

Why Getting Laid On New Year's Is Easier Than You Think

Why? Because the Black Out Fairy has been waving and poking around her baton all night- no that wasn’t him, he was only average- and no one will remember shit. Just do yourself a favor and stay away from any social media site- especially Instagram- until February.

Paul Hudson | Elite.
@MrPaulHudson

Share Tweet
React
Like Us On Facebook
Like Us On Facebook

Paul Hudson

A young writer, philosopher, and entrepreneur, Paul Hudson (@MrPaulHudson) has been writing for Elite Daily nearly since the start. Currently located in Manhattan, Paul Hudson primarily devotes his time between writing for Elite Daily and a mining startup in Turkey. He loves sharing his life experiences with his readers and makes sure to practice what he preaches.

More In Sex

Sex Dan Scotti

Cheater’s High: Why A Cheater Will Almost Always Cheat Again

As a rule of thumb, if a loved one is cheating, rarely will you “find out” about it the first time. I was told this piece of advice, some time back when I first heard a “rumor” that I was cheated on, and although I didn’t really feel like speculating –I  sat there, thinking to […]

Sex Dan Scotti

If It Was Good, You Would Know: 5 Things Men Need To Stop Saying In Bed

The bed is a magical, whimsical place. It’s a haven for passionate moments and, inevitably, passionate words. It’s also a place for sloppy drunk hookups and outrageous remarks. The latter is what we’ll focus on in this piece. For some reason, guys feel like they’re invincible after they have sex with a woman – and, […]

Sex Gillian Fuller

Mixxxer Is The Tinder For People Who Just Want To Have Sex ASAP

Since its inception, dating app Tinder gained a reputation for being about casual sex rather than real relationships. However, there’s a new app just for hooking up that those seeking casual sex can use instead. You can avoid any confusion and get straight to the point. The app, Mixxxer, makes it clear it is not a […]

Sex Cashie Rohaly

The Truth About Soul Mates Is That You Can Have More Than One

We have been taught by fairytales and Nicholas Sparks films to associate the term “soul mate” with one person we are destined to meet by the work of fate. From there, we fall madly in love and upkeep this romantic love forever. But, that is not what a true soul mate is. This mentality that […]

Also On Elite

Humor

Baby Tastes Cake For The First Time, Immediately Dives In Head First (Video)

Baby Bauer has never tasted cake, so naturally, he’s a bit suspicious when it turns up at his first birthday party. The 1-year-old watches the dessert warily, unsure what to do about it. When Bauer’s mother puts a dab of frosting in his mouth, his eyes widen in sugar-induced joy. Before his mother can step […]

Entertainment

Tyra Banks Doesn’t Have To Separate Being A Runway Model And A Feminist

Tyra Banks is secure with her stance on feminism. In an interview with Yahoo News’ Annie Tomlin, 40-year-old Banks spoke about the connection between modeling and female liberation. The modeling icon said wearing a bra and underwear down the runway at Victoria’s Secret fashion shows never bothered her. As a black woman in new territory, […]

Life

10 Ways Working Dead-End Jobs Teaches Us To Be Better People

We have all been there: the second shift at McDonald’s, dishwasher at the pancake joint down the street or sign waver for H&R Block. These jobs became the routine that we hated, and once our paychecks came, we only hated them slightly less. Only later, when we moved up the corporate ladder (or stepped on […]

Music

Combine Shakira, Mario Bros. And JLo And You Get Musical Perfection (Video)

Who knew that if you put Super Mario, Jennifer Lopez’s new song “Booty” and Shakira’s “She Wolf” in a blender, you’d get pure ear candy? We didn’t! Until now, of course. In a recent video uploaded to YouTube by Kawehi, the Lawrence, Kansas-based musician covers a variety of tracks in a single song to create […]

World

Artist Creates Powerful Illustration On The Media’s Coverage Of Ebola

Illustrator André Carrilho seems to believe that the media sees Ebola in black and white. His recent drawing shows row after row of hospital beds filled with black patients dying of the virus, while reporters gather to interview and snap pictures of the room’s only white patient. Carrilho’s drawing shows the virus as an issue of […]

World

Cabbie Unknowingly Picks Up Tom Hanks And Receives Broadway Tickets

Tom Hanks seems like a pretty great guy, especially for being a big-time Hollywood actor. This story only lends credence to that assertion. According to a post on the Humans of New York blog, Hanks befriended a cab driver. The cab driver unknowingly picked up Hanks and the two hit it off. At first, the […]